Seven Days

wake up!

2010-12-12T13:51:00.002+08:00

I am sure you heard a song named 'Wake me up when September ends'. This is what I felt and feel like telling people when I knew what I have planned before for September/October is not going to happened. Because I can't accept what I have been doing. I have never imagine myself sleeping at home and doing nothing or doing something that I don't like. That is so not me! Then during October, I selfishly change this song name to 'Wake me up when October ends'; because the situation is still the same. Then November; and now its December. Finally, I have to wake up and do what I need to do after sleeping for few months!

December it is! Few months back, when my friends ask me about my job hunting, I would be speechless and have no answers. Its not that I have no interviews or what, its just the matter of when should I go (and guess its the lamest reason ever in the world!). Overall, I have rejected a consulting job interview, an advertising consultant job interview, and at least five production job interviews; which two of them did not require me to undergone an interview but just start working right way. You can check my gmail account sent folder to prove that this is no joke. People would go for all the interviews to see if they have any luck with any of them but I have postponed or rejected (whatever it is,its the same) all of them. Until end of October, when I was 'half awake' I made a decision that I told myself no matter what, I am not going to change and postponed it anymore. November, a new beginning, I applied few jobs in Singapore and I got two interviews. Of course, I went both. And I got one of them. So if you understand mathematics, you can count, what are the possibilities of me getting at least a job from those that I have rejected. You tell me.

I have wasted few months for sleeping,eating,playing,watching tv,travelling,shopping,movies,etc. And now! Its time to wake up. However, this is different. I need to be far more independent as I am moving to a country that not many friends of mine are there. I have to fly by my own, look for a place to stay by my own, go to work by my own, have brunch, dinner by my own, etc until I have new friends again. Its challenging! I am all excited for all these but in the same time feeling sad to leave because I am not sure until when I will be back again. Moving to another country/city is definitely not that easy but its also considered as a life transformation that everyone has to go through.

Anyways, live moves on. I need to pursue what I wanted to achieve and I need to leave home and to be independent. I'll miss my family and friends that is for sure. And I'll miss the town that I've live in for 23 years and slept for the few months!

I'll miss you Kota Kinabalu! Good bye and take care!

very bellie

2010-10-24T17:43:00.003+08:00

Everything seem still very depressing for me now. Especially few days ago where I felt like I was so 'silly' and 'stupid' all this while. So, I chose not to update especially about how depressing everything was/is.

The only thing I can update now is that. I seem to be very relax now that I'm a little bit scared. Scared that I will continue to be relax and ended up delay my plan to go work.

Another thing,sometimes I do feel like asking people, am I that 'good'? As in, you will think of me when you need help; mentally or physically. Because you know as a friend, no matter what, I'll be there for you. So you can find me anytime. But when you do not need me, you'll just forget about anything? Or,am I too 'good' that no matter what happened,you will think of me, to sort of; sorry to say. To use me. Perhaps that's true when one of my friends used to say that; there are friends where they will only think of you when they need you. And they take things for granted.

Whatever, guess our parents; they are always right. No one will treat you whole heartedly except yourself. As sometimes I'm selfish too.

Next! The only and main thing that I keep on 'emphasize' these days. About how wavy my hair is. Yes, my hair is very really extremely wavy! Wavy is sexy?Yes. But sometimes it makes me looked like one of those that do not care about my image. In Cantonese, they called that 'leh feh'. To be precise, we called it 'too cincai'. However, sometimes it does look good on me! Damn. Now I don't know if I should trim and keep it wavy or trim and make it straight AGAIN.

you or me?

2010-09-27T20:07:00.001+08:00

"...you never do what you said you going to do..."

"...which means you did not keep your promise..."

You said that to me. And I asked, "that's you or me?".

physically vs. mentally

2010-09-25T00:10:00.004+08:00

"... even though I'm not there with you physically, mentally I'm there; to support you."

"...but sometimes we do need that person to be physically around us right?"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, yes! That point is so right. Well said.

That's the difference between being there physically and mentally for a person. Although we know that we could always be there for each other (as in mentally) even we are not physically with them; supporting them no matter what, be there for them no matter what,and praying for them is the only thing we can do. Yet, sometimes, we do need them to be around physically. To talk to them personally. To know more what happened; even you know you can't do anything, but at least being there with them could make each other feel better.

Guess, we still need to be more stronger.

fuhhh

2010-09-17T13:54:00.002+08:00

I talked to my beloved former housemate yesterday night and I just realized that time flies and next week is already the second tuition free week in uni; if I'm still studying. To be precise, next Saturday is already 25th September; its the end of the month!

I suppose I'm leaving soon for work. Around next week,or next next week, or next next next week. Somehow I feel a little bit emo when I think of leaving home. Its the same feeling when I fist leave for uni four years ago! damn. In such such a little,but not too little nor too long time, I have so much things to do before I leave!

Things to do:
1. Undone portfolio
2. Medical report
3. Application for other jobs
4. Settling the NS thingy!
5. Unpack the other boxes that I brought home from Miri
6. Repair/reformat my laptop
7. Possibilities of accommodation in KL
8. 'Repair' my hair!
9. Get my Lumix!
10.Go to the beach!
11.Hang out with friends
12.Shopping

Lalalala number 10 to 12 is not that important but the top 4 is really important. Gosh. Time, go slower please.

Ta Da!

2010-09-16T23:29:00.000+08:00

Currently our house is having some painting activities. The whole house looks new and bright! yet I'm like having flu everyday; because I'm extremely sensitive to that smell!

I woke up early yesterday because the workers are going to paint my room.I watched tv the whole morning and I fall asleep for at least two hours in the afternoon. Then I missed a call. I called back. It was from a company that I've requested for a phone interview earlier on. Thinking back,it was almost three weeks ago and I thought that are not going to call me back.

Below, part of the conversation:

Mr.T : ...I will tell the HR to ranged your salary between rm1500 to rm1800. But it depends on your living expenses too la.

Ju : Okay.

Mr.T : Then you just let me know when are you coming,we'll do a quick meet up and youcan start working. Hmmm,where are you planning to stay? (something like that)

Ju : I'm not really sure yet. But I'll figure it out soon.

Mr.T : Okay, then you just give me a call when you are in KL. Settle yourself first,that is the important one. Then we'll meet up and show you the office.

Ju :Okay, I'll inform you about the date I'm going.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So, does that mean I got the job already? A friend told me, it sounds like I got the job already. Well, I still need to keep on applying for others because..yea. Well, at least now I'm half employed I guess and I'm quite interested with the job description given. So maybe I should just try and work first :)

Its September and...

2010-09-08T08:33:00.007+08:00

Its September and Julia misses her uni life.Last year,today,she's still studying in uni. This year,today,now,she's blogging and feeling somewhat miserable about her current life. Somehow,she really wish she's still studying. That she doesn't have to think about her future,work,etc; at least not that soon. Thinking back,when she just started uni,she wondered how can she pass through that four years, stuck at that place. Now she thinks,maybe she shouldn't think that way last time. Maybe because she thinks that way so God made her time go faster. Who knows now she would miss that place that she used to called it 'that bloody place' and her friends there.

Its September and Julia doesn't feel good, at all. Last year, this month, she was still wondering how can she pass through September. September oh September, it brought her so much memories. From making two birthday cards to only one. Now,maybe she doesn't have to do that anymore.Last year June was so hard because she lost something really really precious in her life.As precious as her own life. It was during her study week and she really thought of giving up and if it is not because her housemate pushing her and make sure she's studying instead of feeling sad all the time, she would have failed the entire course for that semester. But who knows September that year was as hard as June; because it brought back so many images and memories. Only by thinking of those memories and images, it could make her felt so heartbroken and sometimes she feels like she could just die of heartbroken.

Its September and Julia is scared. This year September,she tried not to think that much. As if she's avoiding herself to think of what happened. She's scared of the feeling of being heartbroken because sometimes it is so pain that it would make her feel hard to breath! So she keeps on finding things to busy herself with. Yes,she has decided to reject the interviews AGAIN. So far,its the fifth companies that she has rejected for interviews; if that's what you wondering. Settling in the west this end of September with a friend of hers, is the current plan. That is why this year she will not make her friend birthday card because she can tell her Happy Birthday herself. Though she's not sure if she could still get opportunities like this even she's in KL that time. She does believe things happen for reasons. Maybe she would get a better opportunity, who knows?

Its September and Julia is in dilemma. A friend of hers offered her place to stay during her interview period, only after she has somehow decided to let go that chance and try to stop thinking the same matter again and again that has bothering her since a day before yesterday. She did not call the company yesterday to tell them she's not going for interview but she thought of telling them this morning. Then this friend offered her place to stay at night, before this morning. Then she think of this 'everything happens for reasons'; so is this the reason?That she should go?That she has not called the company,it happens for this, this offer?Telling her that she should go?Why?Why only when she has decided to let go this chance and decided to move there end of this September?This thing is back again bothering her. Just when she felt like she needs to talk but she doesn't know who to talk to, a close friend of hers called. They talked a lot but she still can't make any decision. Well, at least she felt better and somehow relief after talking to her friend. This morning,she woke up,she sat on her bed for almost 10 minutes,thinking what should she do for the entire of the day.She isn't sure if she should call or just text the company.Yes,somehow she has decided.To follow the plan,to go KL end of this month and stay there while looking for jobs.Though she doesn't know which company she can send her resume to,though she's not sure if she would get the same opportunities like now, though she has so much not sure and blah,though she feels upset to let go the chance again, though she still find it hard and unbelievable that she is doing this, she got no choice.

Its September and Julia feels lonely. She always wonder, what would you tell her to do if you are still here. She always wonder, if you would give her some advice and guideline if you are still here. She always wonder, if you would scold her for letting go so many opportunities, if you are still here. But she always know, if you are still here, she wouldn't feel that lonely and empty as she knows she can always talk to you about anything. She always wonder, how would things be now if you are still around with them. She has so much things to tell you.

Its September and Julia is still jobless. Hows that? Its September and Julia has let go at least five interviews and possibly working chances; that's sad. Its September and Julia is no longer studying; that's u.n.e.m.p.l.o.y.e.d. Its September and Julia has so many things to do until the end of the month comes; that's good.

Its September and Julia hopes October is going to be better.

Its September and Julia thinks this is going to be the longest post for this month. Hopefully, shorter means not much complains or simply, speechless. No complains she hopes.

Clueless

2010-09-06T14:32:00.002+08:00

There's one company called me this morning. The producer told me that she needs man power for one of her projects. I told her that I'm still in KK and the fastest for me to be in KL would be after Raya; which means next week as I have stuff that I need to settle first. She then told me she needs people now, as in now. She then asked me to arrange my time and let her know as soon as possible when can I be in KL.

Then after lunch, I checked my mail. There is another company that asked if I would be in KL in anytime soon. Said they are interested to have a chat with me.

Then I think,can I go soon? Where am I suppose to stay since this two company located in two different locations. Damn

At this moment, I am seriously clueless. Jobless is really a scary thing and it makes you crazy. But then, having some opportunities, would make you clueless too. Isn't this pathetic and silly?

Cuti

2010-09-05T20:30:00.003+08:00

Hari ini saya cuti. Huhuhaha. Not a good day though. Shhhs :s

I'm back!

2010-09-03T14:41:00.002+08:00

It was 10 months ago since I last blog. Time flies, things changed, people changed. Most importantly, I changed.

During this 10 months, I've went through a lot. There are things that I thought would never happen but it did in the end. I've lost something that is important in my life but in the same time I gained something else. I've finally understand and believe that all these things happened for reasons. It shaped who we are and it taught me how important to cherish every moment that I could share with the love ones or even people that you might not close with. Because in the end of the day, this person that you claimed you are not close with, might change your life and might be the one who will went through everything with you. For this,I thank everyone that appear in my life.

I am happy with how things are now as I have finally clear with one thing that has bothering me since months ago. Back in few months, it was sorrow and it was heartbroken for me. Now, its "rainbow after the rain". Thinking back, it was so silly yet painful. Now,everything's fine and I feel relief. Yet somehow feeling unfair but there's nothing we can do now.

As I am preparing myself for the next journey, I've promise a friend if I'm back to blog,I shall dedicate the first post to her.Therefore;as promise,Betty Wee! This is for you. I'm fine and I'm doing extremely good. Job hunting! Hope everything's fine at your side.

Good day everyone!

can i ?

2009-11-27T23:33:00.001+08:00

Can I drink? Because I can't sleep. I had weird dreams and I woke up all in sudden when I was sleeping, oftenly.

Can you get me drunk? Because I don't think I can face this yet. I have no more strength to be sad but I am still;and I can't help with it.

Enough to say. Can you get me a drink so that I can get drunk and forget the sad thing for a moment?

Merry the Christmas!

2009-11-22T22:04:00.001+08:00

Jeng jeng!! Santa Clause is coming to town!!
Santa Clause has came to my house!

423pm.I got my new handphone.Woooohoo. Early Christmas present from daddy. Thank you, dad.

online

2009-05-15T20:28:00.003+08:00

Its been more than a week we can't go onlie properly at home. Today, Jess and I went campus; one of the reason is purposely go online. We reached library and we did not get what we want. So, we were suggesting-- Go town, some where like Coffee Bean or Starbucks to online la!

After 'struggle' for a while, we finally went home and rushed to the bus stop again to wait for public bus. Guess what, after almost end of the sem, this is our first time riding a bus to town. Purposely to town to go online! De re said she is the most dedicated Curtin student because she purposely came to town just to online do her work! Aha!

We bought two drinks- Mocha Latte and Cafe Caramel. And De re also bought two pieces of cake. One of the cakes that she bought is Blueberry cheese cake; she said, because she know I like Blueberry cheese cake so she bought one. Awwwh :)

Its 837pm now. We've been here since 430pm and we are going back only at 12am! Wahahaha. Tomorrow is Sports Carnival and I'm only working as photographer next week during Volleyball match. And de re is participating tomorrow; and of course next week's Volleyball match. Good luck, How De Re :)

-.-

2009-04-17T15:04:00.003+08:00

Its been ages sice I last blog-ed. Since that today is the last day of my holidays and I am going back to my busy life tomorrow, here I am now; thinking that I should write what happened yesterday night. What a 'memorable' day in my life! I told de re and she said this is too ----

The first thing came into my mind at that moment and after I came back home was- How?! How on earth could this happened to me?! #$%@!

Mum (to me) : Come lets pay and go home...

Me (to dad) : Dad..pay...

Dad (to mum) : (After looking at his pocket)... Aren't the money is with you...

Mum (looking at me) : The handbag?

Me: ....Huh?? Oooooooh sh*t!!! is in the other car!!

How on earth this could ever happen to me?! Went shopping without bringing money?! Mum asked to drive her car when dad and I were already in his car. We were waiting in the car while she was locking the door. I was half way messaging my friends and yea; apparently now I'm the one who can't multitask, when I'm tired. What dad said before we moved to another car was--

Dad: Take the bag and keys...

Then he was already outside the car. While I'm still messaging...

Me: Okay, wait wait..Almost done...

After I finished texting, I put my phone aside and what I remembered was, the sentence "...keys". I took the keys and I came out of the car. Dad locked the car and we went in mum's car; leaving the handbag in his car. My purse, handphone, mum's purse, etc, were all in the handbag. We did not realized this until we decided to buy. Dad brought his cash so he has no problem in purchasing any stuff. Just that his 'extra' money are all in mum's handbag. And don't mentioned about me; I always gave my purse and phone to mum or even friends when we go shopping. That's why I didn't feel weird when I was walking with empty hands!!

At the end, dad bought his stuff but mum and I-- We didn't buy ourselves anything. Then, from this incident, I realized two things. First, my mind can't function properly if I'm damn tired. In the other words, I can't multitask when I'm tired; and is doing other stuff in the same time. This wasn't the first time, even that afternoon itself; after I came back from medical checkup, mum cooked us lunch and guess what? I put a spoon on my plate and I put a folk on dad's plate, expecting that we would use this to eat our food?! Ooh gosh! I even forgot to wear my watch when I went out with my friends after that! This has never happened to me! Second, I should really adopt a habit-- bring my own bag next time!

I don't really know what happened to me yesterday. My mind can't work perfectly the whole day. Yet, what I'm clear is that, I am REALLY VERY tired! Slept at two and woke up at six; and went shopping and do stuff non stop the whole day!

-.-

Psychosis

2009-03-19T18:45:00.002+08:00

"ngui pulow kerng"

"ngai oi song chi sor"

"ngai me di dao apa macam"

"ngai hao stress!"

(What happened today)

SAVE ME!

Water+Melon

2009-03-15T23:50:00.001+08:00

I am happy today because someone rush her assignments so that we can go to the beach. Firstly, of course I need to thank Jimmy for sending us to the beach. The most I wanted to thank; is her.

A day before, we went to town to buy stuff and during the supper, my going to the beach mood just came and I was suggesting that we go to the beach next day. Of course I know that all of us are busy with assignments, especially her. All due almost the same day. So, she was saying unless she works harder and wakes earlier the next day.

I was suppose to wake her up but I failed because I set the wrong time on my alarm. She did woke up early though. She was rushing her homeworks while I was thinking to postponed the plan but in the same time still hoping that she would say 'yes'. When she said 'no', I was actually planning that we would go the next weekend. Apparently, she said she felt bad because she said 'no' and that made me feel disappointed.

Finally we went. I know you are tired but you still went with us. The point is that, Im really touched because; you rush your homework so that we can go; you still say 'yes' eventhough you were tired; and I know you were extremely tired, you delayed your other homeworks because we went to the beach. Because you did that so that I wouldn't feel disappointed. I'm touched and I somehow felt guilty. Yet, I'm still happy and yea ......

So, I've decided that I'll dedicate this entire post to you. Thank you and...

I know you know that actually...

iloveyousomuch, jessicahowchiehhsin! muaks ♥ ♥ ♥

Ke- 100

2009-03-15T23:48:00.003+08:00

Weeeeeeeee. This is the 100th post for the blog. Its been a while since I last blog. We were all busy this semester; productions, research project, weekly report, critical essay, etc. Well, I used to think that we might have chosen the wrong units in the right sem; now I wouldn't say this as I am quite use to it now. And I love the way it is. So that I know I have something to do that I wouldn't feel that empty. Though, I am still a bit not on the track now.

Today, 15 March 09. I am happy. Not mainly because this but also, because of them and I am happy that I have these people in my life. And I love them so much.

We went to bach today and I'm touched for what a friend did. So, for the next post; I've decided that I'll dedicate it to...... a lovely girl ♥

Disrupted morning

2009-03-07T23:32:00.003+08:00

Unusually, this morning I was waken up by someone that I don't know. Someone that has no connection in my life; a completely stranger. And I woke up 15 minutes earlier from what I have scheduled. I heard someone knocked on my house mate's door and then he knocked on my door. I opened, but there was no one there. My house mate asked me whether I asked someone come to fix my air cond but I said no. I then continue lying on the bed and he knocked once more. I opened and he said "service air cond"; I answered "but I didn't complain". He said "no, its every room". In my mind, I was like "Hello! Today is Saturday! Why can't you....". Ahh, forget about it. I have to wake up early anyway.

I then ran to Jess room and lie on her bed. She was pretty surprise to see me wake up early by myself I guess. And I seriously, extremely, truly, really tired and sleepy. Even it was just 15 minutes early from what I have planned. Yet; the matter is that --> I was waken up by someone that I don't know and in the way that I don't like! Or perhaps I should say, what really matters is that; its Saturday. Haha. Even I didn't have the chance to wake up late this week, yea, its still Saturday. Sorry lah 'air cond sevice-er', but I just feel like blaming everything on you; because you were the first who made me beh song today. Haha

I then went council meeting with Aki and basically, we do nothing except for some free air cond. Then I went location scouting with Jason, Tysna, and Shelly for our FTV minor production. Hectic. I wasn't home the whole day until almost 9pm. Apart from the morning scene, it was fun though. Had a great time with my group mates and friends when I came back home. Ada nice and manyak dinner :)

Happy Birthday Curtin Sarawak!

2009-03-05T22:12:00.002+08:00

Today, when I was waiting for Bel to practice our proficiency test thingy, I was dragged by Juliana and went in the journalism lab. She asked me to put my bag, phone, and jacket down. She then asked me to stand in front of a camera with lights around and a blue background. Then she told me to look at the camera; with a happy tone, say "Happy Birthday Curtin Sarawak!".

I was damn cold and I was shivering that time. I then told her that I feel like I was cheated as I did not think much when she dragged me in the lab, and I follow her because I thought she wanted me to help her for something -.-"

And I 'acted' for twice! Once without jacket and another with Bel's jacket. And well, proficiency test practice was fine. We practiced for several times, three if I'm not mistaken. It was tiring actually and we need to practice more. Especially on that 'white wire'!!

Replacement class tomorrow. God bless. Hope I don't fall asleep in the class. That's all for today. Ciao!

p/s: ooh yea, I cut my hair again. Sorry, no pic yet but soon :)

Air ticket

2009-03-04T21:29:00.000+08:00

These days, daddy keep on reminding me to check when will I back so that I can buy the ticket. Due to the reason I can't go online in my room, I went to Jess's room to lepak. And we were talking about changing the ticket and all that and she was saying that she doesn't want to fly with AirAs*a. I then went back my room and I realized something. Something that I will always see when I open my drawer and my diary.

Perhaps that day was to significant to me; in my life, that I wanted to keep it. I will never forget that day. Because of that something that I have been keeping, I keep on reminding myself that, that was the last day I see you in my life. For the rest of my life, that was the last day I went back to see you. I will never see you and talk to you again after that day. Because you were gone. Every time when I open the diary, I'll think of you for a moment. Every time when I miss you or when I think of you, I'll open that diary, or I'll look at your face in the picture that I pasted on my wall. Even its been years, I have never forget you. And I'll not. I will never forget that you were trying hard to talk to me, but you just couldn't.

I never deny nor hide from my friends and family that I miss my grandmom so much. I don't know why do I keep these tickets that time. Perhaps I do scared that I'll never have the chance to go back again. So I wanted to keep it and remind myself that I was there. I was there to see her, for the last time. For the one last time; the one last time that I would never wanted to if I were given the chance.

For once, I did dream of her. Someone; apparently that was my cousin, but I don't know which (for her face was blurred), asking or questioning me how can I never know that grandmom was sick while I am still wondering when will she comes to visit us. I was crying; and I know I was dumb. How can I. That dream till now is still quite fresh in my mind. I remember that cousin asking me "Why/How can you don't know??!" and I answer nothing. I just don't know. And she was lying, and looking at me. I woke up with tears and the question of how can I don't know keep on appear in my mind. It was a question that I keep on asking myself. Till now. I never have the answer.

I wish I could know. I wish time could flies back. I wish she is here. I wish I could talk to her. I wish I could hold her hand and I wish I could hug her. And of course I wish I could tell her how much I miss her. Or perhaps, for now; I just wish I can dream of her again.

I was there!

2009-02-06T23:28:00.002+08:00

Just a short and simple post about yesterday before I continue my Sales Management take home exam that I'm going to submit on Monday. I went Brunei yesterday!

"Selamat Datang ke Bandar Seri Begawan". Haha.

Jason and I went Brunei with Del to meet Betty. A short meeting, yet I'm happy to see my dear friend :)

Well, you know what I want to say. Take care, dear. You are going back there next week while I'm going back to my home in the same time with you. New sem is going to start and yea, check your mail more often. Haha. I'm going to miss you. But make sure you do miss me more! Haha. And yea, if I'm not mistaken, I remember you mention you are coming back maybe during June aren't you? Make sure we get to meet again yea. Hugs!

Ciao! Wish me luck for my take home exam. I haven't read and answer any questions yet!!

Jeng Jeng Jeng!

2009-02-04T23:59:00.002+08:00

I'm older today. I'm happy today. Really happy. Previously, I actually did not have any celebration for today. I didn't have presents, nor cakes. I only get dinner or lunch with angpaos for today; in the past few years. As this day always fall under Chinese New Year which most of the friends are not free to celebrate and we are not back to school yet.

However, today, I got a whole class singing for me, I got a lot of text messages from those who are so important in my life, I got to talk to those I care for and love me, I got movie with friends and I got dinner with them. Then I also got a waiter saying "Happy Birthday, miss", to me.

Not only that, I'm happy today because I had my last final class for summer course today. Which also means, I don't have to wake up so early for the next few days. We actually didn't have a formal lecture today, just recap for the whole unit. Then we participated in some silent movie in purpose of realizing how important communication is in personal selling. We were asked to line up according to the month we were born. Then Sham ask who was born today. And its me! They sang me birthday song and yes, I didn't even remember when was the last time I heard a group of people singing me this song. All I remembered was, Ah Be singing me this song and sent it through mms on my birthday a year ago. So, THANK YOU SO MUCH, people!

Ooh, before I acted in the silent movie, I went to the campus lobby to collect something. I am touched. That's all I can say. I love what I've received and of course, I love the person who sent this to me! I was about to cry when I saw the content of the notebook. Ah Be, you're bad! You made me almost cry! Look!

I talked to few people before I get ready to go out. Had dinner at Pizza Hut and I get my birthday pie there. Then we went to watched a movie; Inkheart. Quite nice. Came home and here I am telling how happy I am today. And, I'm going Brunei tomorrow to visit Betty.

Thank you daddy and mummy for the early birthday angpao and also the bonus reload for my phone. Thank you Jason, for bringing us for dinner and movie tonight. Also, thank you: Aki, Shelly, Chin, Manda, Sy Qi, Ah Be, Betty, Evelyn, Marilyn cousin, Jenna, Zheng Sin, Jack, Hui Hsia, Jessica Ah Ca, Jimmy, Stephanie girl, Del, Tulika, Abraham, Jeremy, Khong, Li Ming, for the text messages. Also, for the wishes on facebook, friendster. Also; thank you my cousins, Alex, Annabelle, my aunt, aunt Louise, for calling even you are so far away; and for calling more than once. Perhaps I did not mentioned your name here, but I sincerely thank you for the wishes, you know I appreciate it and you know I love you all.

Thank you, God. For giving me wonderful people in my life that have given me wonderful and memorable days in my life. Amen.

Starr

2009-02-04T23:59:00.000+08:00

Dear Betty;

As I've promised last year; I'll post a whole passage in the blog for you on TODAY. Because, today is special. Special for you; and for me. Because we are getting older TODAY. Haha. Happy Birthday dearie. Seriously, I miss you la uii! Haha. Sorry, I have no enough credit to call you so I'll tell you what I wanted to tell you if I get to call you; here. Actually...

I miss the time when we were in foundation. When you were my assistant photographer. I miss taking pictures with you; I miss talking to you; I miss complaining all the stuff to you; I miss misscalling you when I saw you then hide myself so that you wouldn't see me; I miss calling your name in class then pretend I didn't; I also miss telling you how much I miss home and I wanted to go home; also, I miss chatting with you in msn during free weeks and sending you the icon that could make your computer lag; I miss the time when we argued who misses who more in msn, and I miss studying in the freaking cold library with you; and etc. Apparently, I miss you more now. Haha.

I feel sorry for not been there when you need a friend; I feel sorry that I did not contact you that often after you leave to Melbourne; and I feel really very, extremely sorry that I did not spend much time with you before you leave and when you need someone to talk to that time. Sometimes, I really feel sorry that I hope we could be as close as we were. I'm really sorry for everything and anything; if I did offended you in any ways.

Even though we only knew each other for few months before you leave, we just clicked! I remembered we became friends easily, we have same interests, we are able to work with each other, we can talked a lot when we meet, and we even have the same 2933 for our phone numbers! Perhaps its because we were born on the same day so we understand each other well that I feel comfortable to tell you my stuff. And I know, you are a good friend; and no doubt you will always be one of those important friends in my life.

I have no actual birthday gift for you but I can make a promise for you; that I'll mail you and keep in contact with you more often in the future. Definitely more often that yester-semesters. So, you have to check your mail more often dear! And so; take care of yourself and please, please, don't stress so much. And also; please, sleep earlier if you can so that you wouldn't get your back pain that often, and remember to have proper meal. You and I know we always don't sleep early and sometimes didn't have proper meal, and you and I know we have gastric. Haha. No wonder we were born on the same day! And; just wanted to let you know, I'll always be ready to listen if you wanted to tell me anything; like what we used to do. Okay? Hugs!

Again...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, STARR STARR!

and...

I miss you MORE!

Lots of love,
Moon Moon.

This Summer

2009-01-21T23:13:00.007+08:00

Ah Be came to visit during this summer; 15th January 2009. Then we started our incredible journey until 19th January afternoon-

15th January 2009, Thursday; Day One
9am something; I was waken up by sms(s) sent by Ah Be. I thought I have over slept that she already reached Miri. After knowing that her flight been delayed, I continue sleep until I woke up and get ready to go airport with Jimmy to pick up Ah Be. Then, the three of us went to Double Star to have brunch. On the way, we have decided to divide our tasks; about who is going to decide where to go, where to eat, etc. We went Bintang Plaza's Toys House and also Imperial Mall. After that, we went Citrus to have of dinner. Ooh, before that, we went to Kaya Toast where we decided where to eat for dinner and again; divide our tasks. And I was in charge for the activities on Sunday.

16th January 2009, Friday; Day Two
Jimmy was the one who in charge for today. We went some Sabah-style kopitiam today. Then we went Toy's World; where I couldn't decide whether or not I should buy a book in Belle's bookshop. Then, we went home as WenLin was unwell. After rested for few hours, we called Jimmy and we went to Tanjung beach. Thank God, it didn't rain today. Had fun with this two monkeys and then we went dinner at the stalls there. After that, we went Boulevard; just for a while the we went home.

17th January 2009, Saturday; Day Three
Ah Be was the one in charge today. We went Grand Palace Hotel to have our breakfast today. Then we went to Dr. Aziz the orthodontist's where Ah Be gets her retainer, which is also the main purpose for her visit to Miri this time. Then we had Bah Kut Teh as lunch! Before we went to Boulevard, we went to Toy's World again; where this time, I finally bought my book. We then went Kokoberry to have drink and then to Boulevard. After shopping, we went to New Seoul Korean Restaurant to have our late dinner. Then, finally we went home. Ooh, today we invented a lot of new words that we have translated from and Chinese, Malay, and English. And also, funny jokes in the restaurant and clinic.

18 January 2009, Sunday; Day Four
I was the one who in charge for today. Today we celebrated our birthdays. Jimmy's belated birthday, and Ah Be and my early birthday. We went Secret Recipe to have brunch and there, we have our birthday cakes. Then we went Bintang Plaza's to shop. Then, we went New Sau Pao and finally, we went Boulevard again. After shopping, we went Shiki Japanese Restaurant for dinner. Lastly, we went Taman Awam. Where I have to went through that swing bridge! That night, i finalized what am I suppose to write for my individual assignment with Ah Be's help. Also; finally, she has taken her six poses pictures (where she already took mine during last semester).

19 January 2009, Monday; day Five
Today, we woke up quite early. The earliest amongst all these days. It was raining and its really cold. We first went to had porridge as breakfast. Then, Jimmy went some Miri Biscuits House to buy us cookies (its CNY!). After that, we went Toy's World again. I have to said that, perhaps thats Ah Be and my favourite place to go in Miri. The purpose we went there was to buy something memorable, that only three of us have. After we bought our stuff, we went to airport. We transfered our pictures at Starbucks and Ah Be bought me a Starbucks limited CNY key chain as gift (Thanks ah be!). Then, we sent Ah Be to the departure hall. It was sad to realized that this will be the last time for me to see her until we meet again next time (which we don't even know when will it be). And then, I accompanied Jimmy to go buy his shoe and when we were about to go home, I received a call from Ah Be saying that she has reached Sibu. Then we went home where I had nap and then woke up, and start doing my essay that I have submitted today.

And so, this is the full version of our incredible journey in this five days during summer; which I bet three of us didn't have enough sleep as we went out in the morning but only came home at night after 10pm, and we spent a lot! Especially on food. Also, thanks to Jimmy for sending and bringing us to walk, eat, shop, play around.

Ah Be, good luck for everything you do in the future. I apologize for any and everything if I ever offended you. Don't forget what you need to do when you reached Melbourne and don't forget what you have promised. Mails, letters, send stuffs, postcards, calls, sms, webcams, etc! I know you know that I love you! Haha. Good luck and take care. I 'fikir baca' you!

upset

2009-01-06T22:50:00.005+08:00

Its been a while since I last blog. Today is the first day class for Sales Management during summer; the third day of me in Miri for summer. Today, still; I feel depress. I am upset about what happened yesterday. I went campus yesterday, purposely to urus some stuff. Then I went library, to borrow text book that I need for today. When I was about to leave, the librarian came and said- We're closing for lunch time arr. In my mind, I'm like- What kind of library is this in this respected uni that you have lunch break and students have to leave? What if the other students need to study, and they are not hungry yet? Whatever. I then put the books back and went out, and I sat on the sofa outside. Then I realized something. Where the heck is my student ID? I thought I left it in the library.

I waited for almost an hour and I went back to the library. I didn't see any student ID and I went student services once more. Not found. Then I went home. Telling myself that I will go to the general purpose building to ask for those lost and found thingy today. Then I think - I have no classes for today but I went campus. If I didn't go to campus, this wouldn't happened to me. If I need to replace a new ID, I need to pay rm50. I told my friends the story behind why I went campus, and here I can conclude that this is called the slippery slope- Because of this and this happens.

I know that I can't blame anyone for this but this is what happened, and I can't help myself to stop thinking about this. But; if I don't go to campus; nah! Ahhh, whatever lah. God bless me. Hope someone found it and gave it to the security guard for lost and found stuff. And if I know who found that, I would call and treat him/her for anything he/she wants; rather than pay rm50 for a plastic card! *Isn't robbing a bank is faster than earning money from a group of 'clients' ?

Ooh ooh, today I went to trim my hair. To reward myself after I knew the people went for lunch *again* when I went to the office to see whether someone has found my ID. Thanks Jason for sending and waited me at the saloon. And, also; thank you Dada. For your postcard. I wanted to tell you about this student ID story! Geram betul!

In the end of the story...........They said....

Mummy: Haihya, you cant blame others also lah...
Stephanie: Hahaha! You sendiri also...
Jess: Don't think that way. Sleep earlier and go campus to apply a new one. (julia: no way!)
Ah Be: Ha?! rm50 is lot wo...
Jason: Learn to say no..
Julia: I know its no one's fault but I'm still upset....

8:17:18:20

2008-12-17T23:28:00.002+08:00

In another eight days, its Christmas. Woohoo. "Santa Claus is coming to town". Then, in another seventeen days, I'm going back to Miri for summer course. Ooh, look; see how fast time pass through. I was damn bored when I first came home; knowing that not all my friends and cousins are coming back for holidays. Some of my friends are working and it is hard for us even just to come out and have a drink. And now, after seventeen days, I'm going back Miri, to continue my boring life. I think it would be fun for January though. In another eighteen days, we are going out with Daniel! Its been ages we didn't meet. Also, in another twenty days, I'm going for class! 830am to 1230pm; only for Tuesday and Wednesday. Bless me. Hope I wouldn't fall asleep.

Yet; also, I think January is busy. Except classes and assignments, I'm going to meet with four friends! Three of them, I have not seen them for almost a year, and one of them, will be in that category. You know who you are! *winks*

Then, I'm coming back for CNY; only for few days. And after that, exam, almost ten days holidays, then new sem. Ooh gosh, I can't imagine what will happen next sem; knowing that things would be totally different compared to the semester before. What should I do at night after I finished my work, where should I go if I can't go to the house beside, who to talk to, etc. Sounds sad. Hope what I'm scared would not happen.

Anyway, I'm really looking forward for January. Since we might be going to Brunei and the meetings! As for next sem and the end of the year, I'm looking forward to the productions and yea, I promised a friend that we'll go Brunei; and we're definitely going!

Ooh, I skipped physio today. At once, I really thought I am going to give up. But I didn't. :)

- - - - - - - - - - -

2008-11-26T23:09:00.003+08:00

Just feeling so bored. I miss YOU, and you, and yOu, and yoU, and U, and u, and youuuuuu!! I said I'll miss you; I do. XD

Quote for this sem (August sem 2, 2008)

2008-11-20T15:35:00.011+08:00

Below are some of the quotes for this sem. It seems already a traditions to post these quotes in the blog at the end of semester. Sem just ended and new sem is coming. New sem, new style, new experiences, new try, and new quotes! Wahahahaha!

"Before my lawyer arrives, I have the right to remain silent" (Hong, S., 2008).

"Biel- lame- da" (Chong, J., 200).

"Celaka betul!" (Chong, J., 2008).

"Help me order ge-po ping" (Yip, B., 2008).

"I'm a student, not a worker. So, I'm a knowledge student but not a knowledge worker. So, I'm KS but not KW' "(Chong, J., 2008).

"I'm very strict" (Sony, 2008).

"Jangan~~~" (Lee, W., L., 2008).

"KS is kiasu, not knowledge student" (Chong, P., X., 2008).

"Lame die" (How, J., 2008).

"Mr. Lobakka" (Tiong, S., H., 2008).

"open concert under blanket" (Chong, J., 2008).

"Poor Bentley student, they learned only little thing because the lecturer is a woman" (Sony, 2008).

"reco-cognized" (Sony, 2008).

"Stick to your value and be sincere in your heart" (Ramaiyah, A., 2008).

"Suhas, say ngaidi. Say ngaidi!" (Tan, S., 2008).

"tolerate..." (Hong, S., 2008).

"tolerate = telan" (Chong, J., 2008).

"U 2 Sabahans are peered to each other- diet+fasting+gastric" (Hong, S., 2008).

"ungoogledable" (Tan, D., 2008).

"what ever it be..." (Sony, 2008).

"where theres 'mamee' comes along 'dadee' then produced maggie where we gotta cook them up haha lame" (Wee, B., 2008).

"还 lagi!" (Lee, W., L., 2008).

"祸从口出,病从耳入" (Chong, J., 2008).

"可不可以做一些有意义的事情?" (How, J., 2008).

"那我们讲 sheep 啦" (Sibat, J., 2008).

"Ngaidi! 一直吃，一直吃，你们报仇哈" (Tan, S., 2008).

"你认为我很 lame meh?" (Yip, B., 2008).

"你要 cow 还是 sheep?" (Sibat, J., 2008).

"哦,我真得很会念哦" (Sibat, J,. 2008).

"Sanyan 一天去三次,然后就变六样了咯." (Chong, J., 2008).

"杀死全世界蚊子!" (Chong, J., 2008).

"我不叫糯米鸡，我叫媚媚" (Ting, M., M., 2008).

"我嘛是..." (How, J., 2008).

"我是糖果王" (Chong, J., 2008).

"我要 open 一个 campaign, 杀死 Miri 的 stray dogs" (Tan, S., 2008).

"喜欢我的答案吗?" (Lee, W., L., 2008).

"小心反弹回来哦" (Teoh, S., L., 2008).

"怎 me了" (How, J., 2008).

"真得很会念 eh" (Chong, J., 2008).

All Quoted from (arranged alphabetically):
Mr. Arivalan Ramaiyah, Belinda Yip, Betty Wee, Chong Ping Xing, Del Tan, Jenna Sibat, Jessica How, Julia Chong, Lee Wen Lin, Samson Tan, Sarah Hong, Dr. Sony Raj, Teoh See Ling, Ting Mei Mei, Tiong Sze Hua.

Sibu Trip

2008-11-20T10:18:00.009+08:00

Day One - 16 Nov 2008
This day Jessica and I woke up at 655am to get ready to Sibu. Thank you, Jimmy for waking up early to send us for breakfast and the bus terminal too. Both Jess and I felt like we were cheated as the bus we are using to Sibu wasn't like what we saw in the picture. That is why I told Wen Lin that the picture is just a promotion, isn't exist. Haha! After almost eight hours in the bus, we finally arrived. Ooh, Jess had a bad experience with the public toilets along the way to Sibu. We then went to Wen Lin's grandmum's house to have dinner. I was shock her aunt still remembers my name! And they are still as friendly as last time. After shower, we went to the town and to the pasar-s malam, to take pictures and eat! Ooh, I think Jess and I also share one of the similarities about us; we love the same foods. >.< Day Two - 17 Nov 2008
Today, I woke up quite early as I didn't sleep well yesterday night. I woke Wen Lin and Jess up. We then went to eat Kampua and after that we went to play badminton. Gosh, its been ages since I last played badminton seriously. Of course, all my skills and my stamina ain't like last time anymore. We then went back home to take shower and rest for a while. Then, we start our journey. Went Sushi Tie to have sushi. Thank you, Wen Lin. For chia-ing us. We then went shopping and Jess and I bought some stuff. We then went to few different places (three if not mistaken) to take photos. Then, we went to another new shopping centre to observe (they call it gap gap in Cantonese) . Wen Lin bought her CD and I bought my planner for 2009. After few hours having sushi, we went to have steamboat as our so- called a bit late dinner. Perhaps there are a lot of delicious food that made us ordered a lot. We can't finish and three of us were almost die of hungriness. Then, we went Pulau Li Hua. We love to observe nice and big houses! I even took some pictures of the houses' front gate! Haha. In less than two hours, we went to eat satay with ABC. Then, in less than one hour, we went Tanahmas Hotel to have cheese cake and dessert. We were all shock when we realized all of us ate that much in a day; actually is in few hours! This was the craziest day that I have ever been through!

Day Three - 18 Nov 2008
I slept really well yesterday night. We were all tired. As usual, I woke them up and then we went to have dim sum as breakfast. Didn't order much as we need to leave some space for our very soon next meal. Then, we went to play bowling (its them actually), I didn't play as my arm and hand is aching. Well, again; in less than I'm not sure how many hours, we went to have Korean BBQ as lunch. This time, we didn't waste that much of food. Haha! Then we went Premier (if not mistaken). Jess bought some souvenir for her friends and family. Then, we went Sing Kwong. To search something that we can buy; things that only three of us have. Apparently, we can't decide. So we went other shop at town. Still not found. Finally we went back to Sing Kwong and bought three dogs. Then we went to have Gong Pia. And we were not satisfy with the service there. Then we went back home to rest. After resting for few hours, we went dinner with Wen Lin and her parents. After dinner, we actually planned to go Esplanade to take photos. Yet due to the reason that its already late and its raining, there's no one there and three of us were scared and so we walked to McD. Just to visit their wash room. Haha! We then walked to Tanahmas Hotel again. To have cakes, and take pictures. Went back home; photo and video shooting session starts! We took a lot of pictures and some videos. Then transfer to laptop, then copy to our pendrives. Jess slept earlier than us after finished packing her stuff because she was tired. Wen Lin and I planned to watch her Singaporean drama but I fall asleep while she was observing why can't the laptop read her CD. Sowieee Ah Be.

Day Four - 19 Nov 2008
I woke up 8 minutes late today. As usual, I woke them up. Then Wen Lin's dad bring us to have Dian Mian Hu as breakfast. Jess and I shared one bowl as we need to save place for a real-very soon meal. In less than 20 minutes, we went to have Kueh Chap. Wen Lin's dad bought us some Gong Pia to bring back to Miri. After said good bye to Wen Lin and her dad, and grandmum, we started our journey back to Miri again. For me, its really sad because this might be the last time for me and Wen Lin. I told Jess not to look at me because I was sad and I cried (a bit). I slept all the way non stop. Ooh, there's one aunty sat next to Jess asked whether both of us are sisters. Haha. Then I think myself; we look alike? Haha. No, we are not, I told. We are friends. Went Sibu to play, and now going back to Miri. Jimmy came to fetch us at the terminal. Came back and went to see Ms. Christina to ask for Wen Lin's room key. We cleaned some stuff and then back home to pack our stuff. Times flies. And so, our Sibu trip for four days and three nights ended.

Thank you, Wen Lin, to bring us eat, shop, and walk around; and also thanks for your family. Thank you for everything and I apologized if I ever offended you. Good luck and all the best for everything in Melbourne. Hope to see you again. Take care, hugs!

Happy Birthday!!

2008-11-13T23:59:00.001+08:00

Last year, the same date, same day, was the formation of this blog and I had my first post on this blog. Today, the same date, its my blog's birthday! Also, last year, few days after the formation of this blog; I went to beach with Manda and Jason. Because she is leaving to Perth. Time really flies so fast huh. Its already one year! I have to say that, I learnt a lot in this one year. Especially, I learnt to be strong, to be independent, to do all the stuff that I don't used to do by my own, to appreciate, to think, to tolerate, to ignore, to forgive and to forget, etc.

This year, the same day, I went to Piasau Boat Club with Samson, Jason, Suhas, and Sharon. Because they are leaving to Perth next semester. I wonder, next year, the same day, will we go to the beach again because someone is leaving? Not only them, Ah Be is also leaving to Melbourne too. And also, some other friends might be leaving too, and; I hope they're not. Well, I suppose this is life. And I'm sure we will meet again one day.

All I have to say, life would be really different next semester. More to learn, more to experience, more to try, more independent but hope not more to leave.

Anyway, happy one year anniversary to my blog. Thank you, friends; for your supporting, for reading and commenting my posts. I appreciate it. Will continue writing :) That's all for today. Good day!

Pain...

2008-11-07T01:06:00.005+08:00

My back is aching like hell since Tuesday. And; I have been sleeping and eating only since that day. I'm sick and I have no appetite and the water taste bitter for me. Been coughing non stop since Monday. Sh*t! I really hate to be sick and eat medicine during study week. The worst, I never knew what's the cause of that pain. Here it is, Betty, the pain can be illustrated through the figure below:

Betty, get?Haha. That place lah painful. Sigh. Should I eat panadol or not; I even wonder. What if its still pain during exam? I can't do Math that way! Damn! And I didn't study at all because I feel like sleeping all the time! The med is too strong; made me feel like I'm so light and could fly (isn't it good if I really can fly?). I still have ten chapters to go before Tuesday. Ooh God, save me!

Mee Daddy

2008-11-05T03:11:00.008+08:00

Do you know that actually Mee Daddy can be taken as snack? I bet not all of us know about that. Next time, before you cook or buy, take a second and have a look at the back of that pack of mee. Its written 'Taken As Snack'. And that's what Wen Lin and I had as our supper!

Well, starting from Monday, I wasn't feeling well. Then, both of us are pretty sick today (yesterday I should say) and we only woke up in the evening. Well, I guess I am better; at least I woke up early in the morning to go campus and had lunch with friend. But, I'm still coughing and my back is aching; not knowing what reason. And my voice, I don't know how should I describe. I can't talk much. And yes, me too; I slept the whole day after I had my lunch. I feel dizzy all the time and have no appetite, just feel like sleeping. Till just now, I finally feel like eating something, and both of us are hungry but have no food. And that's the only food that we have in the room; mee daddy.

Apparently, I feel more hungry when she talked about Jess eating her cater food which is her dinner at late night. And we start talking about how late is she going to sleep, then can't wake up early in the morning,how late is she going to eat her cater food, and how lame are we, who is or was the lamest, etc. And, this is really lame; I mean our conversation. Then, I came back and here I am, blogging after I ate my medicine.

Jessica (the lamest; hope she doesn't read my blog even though she claimed that she remembers my blog)

Hope we feel better tomorrow. I really need to study!

Ah Be, thanks for your mee. You know, we should really really buy some stuff so that we have something to eat when we are hungry.

Chair

2008-11-03T15:45:00.007+08:00

I realized that nowadays I have this one new, but kind of weird habit. We used to put a chair outside of our house so that we could sit there and go online; because the Internet connection in our rooms is not good. Then now, I always sit there in the afternoon, evening, and at night. The wind and the sun is my favorite during the noon and evening. Then the rain and the cold wind is the best at night (and now I know how can I easily get sick!). Steph and I used to walked around in the Villa and sit at the bench outside our house to watch the stars and chit chatting.

Sitting outside there reminds me of the days that I used to spent with my friends. Watching people next door smoking and chatting also; reminds me of those nights that we used to spent together during my foundation year. And of course, sitting outside the house makes me think a lot; I should say. Watching people passing by, wondering where have they been, where are they going, what are they going to do during this hot and sunny time, or what kind of activities that they can still do during this late night. Often, I remember one of my group members used to tell me that, watching people passing by in front of him, when he was waiting his flight in the airport; is fun and funny. Because you can see all kind of people with different kind of attitude, expression, doing different things.

That is true. And that is why I like to take candid pictures of people and my friends. Because its natural; simply, its just them, doing what they suppose to do. Normally I could sit there doing nothing but just thinking for more than twenty minutes. Not knowing why, I just love sitting there. Relaxing my mind, watching people, look at the clouds, thinking, wondering and dreaming (mind you,I got my idea for my corporate documentary script done by sitting there visualizing.Haha!). Sometimes, I would ask myself, what are my friends doing right now, when I am sitting here? Are they studying? Or sleeping? How's things going along? And are they fine? Some of them, are just few houses from where I'm sitting. Some of them, they are miles far away from here; and what are they doing then? What time is their place now? And then I'll start counting. Seven and nine hours earlier than Malaysia's; Ooh, they are having their breakfast and prepare to go to work. One hour ahead?What is my cousin and my friend doing right now?Prepare to go back home from work? How have they been for today?

There are a lot of questions and stuff playing in my mind. Thoughts, opinions, finals, CNY, songs, etc. Sometimes, I would also wondering how will my life be in Curtin for my third year of staying here. Next sem, perhaps a hectic one; full with productions, production plans, projects, journals, essays, and perhaps some other stuff, how am I suppose to handle these and am sure there will be a lot of sleepless nights; again. Yet, I know I will miss these time after I graduated.

Sometimes, it is good to think a lot I suppose. Because, there are stuff that you might not know and might not notice just by observing. Sitting there and think while you are resting, could actually help you in remembering what have you done for certain people or certain thing; and is that a correct act with what have you done? Is that a correct word with what I have spoke? what if they feel annoyed by misinterpreting my words? Perhaps I should choose a better word next time. Perhaps I shouldn't treat them that way next time. Well, I do this a lot; I mean, think a lot this way; to improve my relationships and my way of communication with people around me. Sometimes, I would also pray, that they would forgive me if I did or said something wrong.

I know that I miss friends and I really miss home. And sometimes, even only one phone call, some text messages, or perhaps just one 'how are you?' could make you feel good the whole day; that could make you know that there's someone that is concern about you there, no matter where they are, who they are. But hey, they still remember you. Then, what about you? Do you still remember them? Or; have you ever just think about them? Isn't this a good question to ponder? Anyway, its just a question that is playing in my mind; nothing much. Sounds emo? Tell me. Its just a thought and some questions that came across my mind; no offend.

Well, what more? Is study week now, good luck and all the best for friends that are preparing for their finals; and some of them are rushing for their final assignments. That's it for today. Good day!

Today

2008-11-02T20:07:00.006+08:00

This afternoon, at 230pm; I received texts from Jenna...

Jenna: Miss u owe me meal

Julia: Haha.What meal?You mean Coffee Bean?When you wanna go dear?

Jenna: Haha..Duno when.B4 u go back kk Or wait manda come u blanja 2 of us?

Julia: Haha.But I'll be going to Sibu after my exam and your exam still havent finish and after I come back to miri, the next day i'll be going back to kk.

Jenna: Oh..Thats mean within this study week la?

Julia: Yea, something like that la. Or now?

Jenna: U blum makan ka?

Julia: I only eat once nia today.Haha

Jenna: Haha.So random. I can la. If u wan. 2moro nite oso can.U wan now or 2moro nite?

Julia: Now la. Remember? Tomorrow night I have cater food.Haha

Jenna: Ok. I get ready now. Should be there by 3pm

Julia: Wei, wait..you have to give me some more time la. Come at 315pm okay?

Jenna: Ok

(The Julia's part is a little bit unsure as I have forgotten about what did I sent).

And so, we met and we went to Bintang to have our early dinner at DeliFrance. Before that, we went to Popular and I bought a book that I wanted to buy since quite a long time ago. Its Paul Auster's 'Travels in the Scriptorium'. The story is about a middle age man wake up everyday with no memory. And also; bought some papers for some other purpose. *winks*

Jenna, you better pray tonight because we need to go register for summer course tomorrow morning (if you know what I mean. Haha!). And yea, thanks for bringing us to lepak today. Compared to yesterdays, I am happier today. There are unhappy stuff that I have not tell you yet. Will tell you when we meet again. Does this post sounds random to you? Posting our texts in the beginning. Hope you don't mind. Ooh, I shall do referencing later. Haha! So, see you tomorrow; pray Jenna, pray! :)

References:

Sibat, J. (2008).
Chong, J. (2008).

Lalalalala~~

2008-10-29T16:56:00.004+08:00

Finally I've finished my presentation today. Five months of newspaper analyze, with research. Its all done! And I can finally sleep as much as I can this week. Next week, I'll have to start my revision for finals. Good luck everyone!

And, starting next week, I'll have to do my registration for summer course and re-enrolment, etc. Just have to go campus and fill in the form. Oh ya, and email my dear friend about the recent update and update her about all the stuff happened here.

Tonight, I'm going to watch all the dramas that I have not watch yet. Yea, I'm a bit out of date as my friends have watched all the episodes while I'm still stuck in the middle since last week. Then, I'm going to a friend's room and sing! Hahaha! Ooh gosh, recently, there's a song that is stuck in my mind. My mind keep 'singing' that song anywhere any time. Even during the presentation just now. I can clearly remember a friend's pose while she was singing that day. Then that song keep on playing in my mind since then.

Yea, if you, or you or anyone, wants to sing. Just sing. Because I will listen and I might take candid pictures and videos. I'm obsessed with taking candid pictures of my friends! I find they look more natural and pretty! Haha.

Till then, for everyone that is working hard on anything. Good luck. Ciao!

25 OCT 08

2008-10-26T21:47:00.004+08:00

I went to Piasau Boat Club with Jason, Hidz, Tomi, Fahren yesterday evening. To have fun after our C.Behaviour finals. Seriously, I am really unhappy with my exam that Friday. I just hope I can pass. Fahren and I took a lot of pictures. We then went to Secret Recipe to have our dinner and Hidz and Tomi had their dessert there. I brought home three cakes for my friends but those cakes are not what they wanted. I wanted to buy what they like too (because I also; like what they like to eat. Haha!), but I have no choice. And I uploaded their pic on Facebook but she said its ugly but I told her its too late. Haha!

Well, our final script is going to due on Tuesday. Its 40% and I hope I can get a quite good mark, like I did for my previous drafts. Wednesday will be our final presentation and the submission for our research for MCI 102. Finally, after two trial presentations and a whole semester of research and meetings. I really dislike this unit and I really wanted to get through this unit as soon as possible. Then final exam starts on 10th November and I will have my Statistics exam the next day. Good luck everyone and to me.

I'll then go to Sibu with my friends for few days and going back to KK on 21st of November. Now, the only thing that is bothering me other than assignments and finals is, summer course. I really need to take the summer course but I can't accept the fact that I might have to celebrate Chinese New Year here at Miri and its already a fact that I'm going to celebrate my birthday here, without my family.

So how? Teach me, tell me, advice me...

And yea, thank you, Jason, for bringing us to the beach :)

Sien

2008-10-21T22:01:00.000+08:00

Life nowadays is very sien! Very very sien! Watch your words la!

Dream

2008-10-18T20:00:00.004+08:00

My pillow was wet when I woke up this morning. I had tears on my face and I was still crying when I woke up. I dreamt of her yesterday night. I got an asthma attack yesterday night and I had difficulties in breathing. At once, I thought I would die. Then I felt better and I slept. It was 512am in the morning when I woke up with tears on my face. My pillow was wet and I feel like crying when I think of the dream I had yesterday night. I know I miss her; a lot.

I dreamt of my grandmum yesterday night. In that dream, she talked to me and I remembered I hugged her so tight. Like I was given another chance to hug her again. I could never forget the way she smile and looked at me in that dream; just like she did when she was still here. Then I remember also in that dream, she was sick too. And she left. I told my family that I wish to see her for the last time but they told me it's too late. Then I remembered I scolded them for not giving me a second chance; even in my dream, I wasn't given a second chance to see her for the last time.

Then I woke up and realized that my pillow is wet and I was still crying. I looked at my mobile that I put beside me, it was 512am in the morning. I then continue to sleep and I feel like crying when I think of the dream I had a moment ago. I try to think of the dream so that I can have the same dream again this time; to see the one I miss again in my dream. I can't. Then I woke up and again; I feel like crying. Because I couldn't remember what she said to me in that dream. All I remember is that, I hugged her really tight that I know I wouldn't let her go if I was given that chance. I really wish I can see her again and I really wish that time could fly back; just once, back to the time when we used to have lunch together, when we had ice- cream together, when I used to ask her how my hair looked like and she would tell me it looks nice, and she would always protect me from daddy's punishments.

How I wish I can tell her I miss her and I love her. How I wish I could attend her funeral and see her for the last time. How I wish I could just hug her tightly like I did in my dream.How I wish time could just flies back. Just once; just once; its all worth, its enough. I just want to hug her and tell her everything that I wanted to tell her. Just once; I will cherish the moment that I can share with her. I will listen to her words carefully and I will look at her carefully so that I will not forget her face forever. I wanted to tell her I feel sorry for everything but I never have that chance.

For once, I even asked myself, how am I suppose to live my life without her until I'm old? Do I need to cry whenever I think about her even I am already old? That is sad. Really sad. All I know is that, I would cry whenever I think of her, whenever I missed her, whenever I feel sorry for her. Life would be so different if she is still here. I know that. At least I wouldn't wake up with my pillow wet and tears on my face. At least; there will be no regretion in my life.

That day

2008-10-14T15:45:00.003+08:00

Just right after I thought I am happy, that day, I then realized that, actually I am not. All of us are going to be killed by the assignments in this two weeks time. Honestly, I really have no time in entertaining any stuff other than my assignments. All major assignments are going to due soon and after that, free week is coming. Anyway, I'm really looking forward for the summer course and next semester. Can't believe that this sem is just going end like this.

Talked to two friends on the phone yesterday. Thank you, you; for calling until your credit habis. I didnt heard the bit sound lah. Mine also habis. Anyway, I'm happy that you called back and I feel better after talking to you. And yea, not forgetting, Onnessan. Thank you for talking to me too. I know what I should to do but definately not now. And you know why. *winks*

The conversation with Monkey Perth yesterday reminds me of the topic that we talked about that day. Respect, forgive and forget. For all these while, I learnt to respect each individual that I know in my life. No matter what, I respect who they are, what they do, their decisions, etc. For all these while, I still, respect them even they might not do the same thing to me. Because this is the manners that I learnt and practice. No matter what happens, I always tell myself to forgive and to forget. At once, I feel really lonely that I have no one to talk to; that I have no one to share my feeling to.

I keep swallow everything to myself and when it reaches a stage, I feel like I'm going to burst and it is hard for me to remember the beauty of forgive and forget anymore. I remember I ever asked her what is the benefit of respect, and to be good to others if they do not treat you the same way. How can we forgive and forget if we really can't? She then answer me, it is pity if you treat someone good but you don't receive the same thing from them. Yet, we do not treat people good just because we want them to treat us the same way. We treat them good because it is the manners that we learnt and practice. It doesn't matter if we did not get the same treatment back because we already do what is correct according to our beliefs. God knows that.

Anyway, finals is coming and we are going to the beach after C.Behaviour final test next friday. Guess what, we planned it during FTV class. Jason and I also planned to bring Monkey Perth to the beach during summer course. Ooh, today I did a really lousy job in FTV class. I did not submit my script draft and Mr. Rama asked me to submit one full draft next week. Which; today I am, still; unhappy. Tomorrow I have a presentation and I hope I will do a good job. Tonight, I'm going to work and work; and work, like a media student always do. Good luck to me, and for everyone that is working hard for their studies and finals.

And yea, for you(s). Thank you for calling. And it is nice talking to you in the hujan renyai renyai at 10pm. Starting next month, will be one hour ahead again, I will remember that. Haha!

Dear Annabelle

2008-09-28T21:39:00.003+08:00

A simple post for you. Happy birthday, sis. Yes, that's it. I don't have to tell you more than that, you know what I want to say; and I've talked to you for almost two hours on the phone. Thank you for everything; you are a good sister and a good friend. You are the one who I trusted the most and could tell you everything without worrying anything. I love you and I miss you. Take care and good luck for your studies & training at Spain.

Please come back faster because I miss your roti kahwin and orange juice. And you told me you will stay for Christmas and Chinese New Year, and you might visit me at Miri during my summer course if you have time. The stationaries that you bought for me when you came to Miri last time is going to finish soon. So, you have to come and buy for me again.

Take care and I love you everyday. Happy Birthday. Hugs! =)

Happy Birthday to you(s)

2008-09-24T17:03:00.002+08:00

First of all, happy birthday to Amanda Sura. Today is your birthday, Dada. I don't know how are you going to celebrate but I'm sure you'll tell me when we get to talk on the phone or by mail. And today; also reminds me of your birthday last year, which we gave you a surprise at Fratini's. That was the first time you see me wear skirt in Miri and you know, actually I was so nervous that day that I scared I can't keep the secret from you; about the surprise party. Anyway, happy birthday. Hope you happy today, everyday. Good luck in everything you do and take care. Love you!

Also,happy belated birthday to Angela. She is my schoolmate. We know each other quite well and our parents, they know each other quite well too. I go to her house every year during Chinese New Year and I will gat extra ang paos from her parents and sisters.Haha! Anyway, what I wanted to say is, thank you, Lala. For being my friend.

And also not forgetting, happy belated birthday to Teng. My schoolmate since primary school. We were friends for 11 years man! Although I might not contact you as much as the others but I'm glad you are my friend and still, till now; we are friends. Take care and wish you all the best in your studies, working, and everything you do.

Coming up, happy birthday to Roseline. My junior in Curtin. Going to Taiwan or I guess shes already there. Good luck in whatever you do. And, its nice having you as my juniors in my foundation second semester here.

Also, happy birthday to Janet. Unexpected? Unexpected that I would know your birthday? I guess I saw it on your blog. Haha. Happy birthday and wish you all the best too with everything you do. May God bless you. Just from Ah B*y number two. Haha

boundless

2008-09-19T18:53:00.006+08:00

Previously, I said that I have no effort in doing my work. Because of something, that is bothering me. However, I have to move on. Went to town alone this morning after class. Just for a while to post something to a friend. Ooh yea, I am proud of myself. Never been to town alone by bus. I told Janet to call me 'Ah B*y number two' next time (Our friend went to town alone the other day; which we will never do that). Came back at 12pm and I was shocked in the bus when I saw the smses that my friend sent me; about her lecturer and the marks for her assignment.

Ooh seriously, I was thinking, sometimes we really don't know how will the lecturer mark your assignments and how will he/she knows that how much effort have we put in in completing it. Perhaps we really work hard but we did not get the marks that we deserve, simply because the lecturer make his/her own assumption that this student doesn't work hard for his/her work. Or perhaps, we just made some little mistake and he/she make an assumption that this student is not doing his/her work. That is Hasty Generalization. Ah, whatever. Work hard, friend. I'll pray for you. Don't believe what that kalingak said.

Came back and have a nap. Gosh, I almost fall asleep in today's lecture. I even fall asleep in the bus when I was on my way back. Then I woke up and I had this conversation with my house mate. It really makes me think a lot. She told me this '退一步，海阔天空'. Actually I really don't know how to explain this in English. Simpler, it means by 'one step back, boundless as the sea and sky' (Ooh, what on earth this explanation is). Something like that. Sometimes, you might find you will lost more if you continue to blame/dislike/hate others. That is why I was taught to forgive and forget. Yet sometimes, it is quite hard to 'practice' that forgive and forget. Sometimes, you will find yourself wanted to do something so much, but you do not know how. Like you said, you don't dare. I do not have the courage either.

Sometimes; some words, might be difficult to say it out just like that. Sometimes; some words, you might wanted to say it out so much, but you just couldn't do that. Somehow, don't know why. Sometimes, some words; we didn't say it out but that doesn't mean we don't feel it that way in our heart. I have to admit that sometimes I am not a good friend, I am not as strong as I thought. That is why I don't dare, too.

In short, what I want to say is, today, I realized that I actually can do a lot of stuff by my own which I thought I can't. Yet, still; I also find that I actually still the same. Weak and have no courage.

And I wanted to say, I'm sorry.

Don't know

2008-09-17T18:01:00.002+08:00

Here I am again, sitting in front of my laptop with a kind of feeling 'dunno'. I don't know why, I have no effort in doing my work; especially MCI. Had a so called prepared presentation, and apparently, it wasn't so good.

Don't know why, I really miss home now. Just don't know why, I really sleepy. And don't know why, I have interest only in finishing my script and C.Behaviour group project. Been staying awake until 3 in the morning the other day just to finish my draft script. No marks; and yet I just have the enthusiasm to finish it. Of course; I would not do this for other units. Biased towards other unit? Yea, tell me. For your information, that's me!

Don't know why, I have done all my works so far, but I have no effort to do something that I should really start to do. Don't know why, I can sense that is something wrong and actually I know what is that but I have no heart for that. So how? Don't know also.

Mooncake Day

2008-09-14T23:54:00.003+08:00

(2008 mooncake festival's lanterns. I hanged it outside but we thought it was going to rain so I hang it in the living room)

Just right after I ate my mee cup, and thought that I will be spending my time doing my draft script, Mei Mei and her friends came. Because she knew that I am going to celebrate today alone, so she brought me out to have a walk. We walked around the Senadin area with our lantern and we saw quite a number of people carrying lantern like us too.

(Mooncake Festival 2007)

Although this year is a bit different from the previous years, I am happy today. I told Mei Mei that this is the happiest Mooncake Festival that I ever had in Miri. Not to say that I did not happy last year, and the year before; but the reason I would say this is because I really thought that I will be celebrating today alone; unlike the previous years, when we had all the tanglung, and mooncake. This year, although I don't have mooncake, I am happy.

(Mooncake Festival 2006)

I remembered someone told me that I am not celebrating mooncake festival alone. Yea, you are so right. I am not celebrating alone. I am celebrating it with my friends, but not with the one who told me this. So what? I don't feel disappointed, but I am happy. Because I am hanging out with funny people.

阿媚,谢谢你. 我今天真的很高兴! 谢谢你们带我出去. 帮我跟青青和阿Hie他们也说声谢谢..中秋节快乐.

(p/s- look at the pictures above; did you see the 'evolvement' of how I celebrate my Mooncake Festival?)

FOR YOU

2008-09-14T20:38:00.006+08:00

my real image

Dear Monkey Perth,

Today is Mooncake Festival and my dear, you don't even know when mooncake festival is. Which I think is a good thing as you don't have to wonder how would your family celebrate it without you, while you are celebrating it alone and eating mee cup; like I did.

Anyway, what I want to say is, thank you, for listening to me yesterday. Also, thanks for messaging me till you run out of credit. My turn today. Just reloaded. To answer your question; yes, I was crying when I was talking to you. But I feel better after that. And I know that, I will always have you to support me, care for me, and listen to me. Thank you. And; since you asked "How's your hair?", I know you wanted to see my hair so much and now, this is FOR YOU. Specially for you, dearie. Hahahahaha!

Please don't laugh. I only dare to take picture since its a bit longer now. And I'm quite used to it now. Come lets pray again, that Dec/Jan will come faster. Alright, that's it. A special post for you, Dada. Let's continue to do our work. Like a media student always do. Take care. Will talk to you soon. Big big hugs!

Love,
Monkey Miri =)

Sometimes

2008-09-12T22:37:00.005+08:00

Sometimes, I don't know who am I, what am I. Sometimes, I feel like I am so lonely that I have no one; that I am no one. Sometimes, I really feel like I have no one to talk to. And that is the fact, for now. I keep persuading myself that I'm not alone, I know I am not. Yet, that feeling is so strong that I know I am, alone. I keep telling myself it is worthless for me to cry for loneliness and for something or someone that is meaningless. Perhaps I think too much; yet I clearly know that, things ain't the same as it used to be anymore. Things changed, people changed, I changed; everything changed.

Then I asked myself again, why should I cry? Why will I cry? What for? Because of loneliness? Because I have no one to talk to?Maybe; because of disappointment. The disappointment that I went through. Do you know that kind of feeling when you actually see and experienced all the changes that happened in your life?The 'evolvement' from the norm to the situation now which is somehow a bit abnormal and strange for you. The feeling where you know something is wrong but you have no power to change it because, somehow; it is unchangeable. I know I learned something in these two semesters. Not something actually. A lot. I learned to be independent. I learned to do all the stuff that someone used to do for me. I learned to convince myself that I'm not alone. I learned to tell myself that, alone is not a big thing. I wouldn't die because of that.

Yet; to live in loneliness is hard. Especially when you know you have no one to share all your feelings with. And when you know someone that was closed to you now is so far away from you. Even they are standing infront of you, talking to you, it is still; far. Sometimes, even people that are really far away from you, you could still know that their heart is still close to you; that they still care and love you. I know that I will always have someones to support me even they are faraway from where I am now. I always ask myself why did I cry? Why don't I realize that the time I used to cry could actually fill with something else? I ever tried. Just that, again; that feeling is so strong that I can no longer ignore anymore. Because, I was there to experienced the changes and yet, I couldn't do a thing.

Sometimes, I really think it is time to let go. Yet, sometimes, I also think that I shouldn't give up so fast. But then again, everytime when I wanted to do some changes, I failed. Many times, I pray and I pray God could help me fix this stuff. He does. Things changed, at once. But perhaps we have no effort to keep working on it and it is now back to the original place. So now, just now, I have decided not to cry for silly things and not to cry for things that is worthless again. Because I am tired. Because, I really agree with what a friend told me, 'people come and go'. Because I understand that it is still no use if I am the only one who realized that there is something wrong. Because I know I still have some other people that care about me. I know that they wouldn't wish to see me this way. Because I've promised them I will be strong and independent. Because I've promised them that I will not let them worry about me. And so, I am letting it go, now.

Tomorrow is statistics test. Good luck to me and good luck to everyone. Mooncake festival is in two more days. Happy celebrating mooncake festival alone to me and to everyone.

Unacceptable

2008-09-06T00:32:00.007+08:00

I miss my long hair!!

I cut my hair the other day during free week and since the day I began my 'short hair life', I miss my long hair! Oh gosh, seriously; I wonder how long do I need to wait till the hair to grow until the length that I used to have last time. Or perhaps just about that length, not that long but not this short. It is short and I'm still not used to it. I miss my long hair so much. Others always tell me that I look just fine with the short hair, but still; I have 'no face' to see people. How I wish I can wear tudung or whatever. To cover it. That is why I dind't take any pictures since I cut my hair. Since I've promised my friends to show them my pic, and so, here it is. Specially for Dada and Betty; as you both wish. My unacceptable hair style. Haha.

Dear God, please make my hair grow faster. Amen.

Again..

2008-09-01T22:06:00.002+08:00

I'm back again. Not home. At Miri. And I think I'm sick again too. As you know, somehow, I'm quite sensitive with the air in different places.

Again, I'm rushing for my homework.

Again, I have presentations on Wednesday.

Again, I have test this Friday.

And again, I have test next Saturday.

Again and again, we are busy againn.....

Dear God, help me go through this stressful week. And make November comes faster.Amen.

Home

2008-08-27T23:36:00.003+08:00

I'm back to home today. For few days. To rest and to release tension. Thanks to Jenna for sending me to the airport. Sorry, that you need to wake up so early to send me. Cia you breakfast next next Sunday after church k. Oh yes, I watched The Nanny too this evening at Hallmark Channel. Its funny and I like.Haha.

Finally,I cut my hair. Kind of regret. Not to say regret actually. But; somehow, yes. Oh gosh. Maybe,maybe; I should go straighten it. Haha!

Anyway, I should start study tomorrow. And start do research for MCI. Free week is a free week for us to do more homeworks. No difference; compared to study week.

Yesterday

2008-08-26T16:05:00.006+08:00

yesterday, Monday, 25th August; I guess its God's plan. He knows that its been a long time I didn't talk to a friend since she last called me few weeks ago. Before I called her, I went campus for meeting. However, we didn't discuss anything as something that could be said is expected to happen has happened and I went home again after two hours with two Business Law books borrowed from the library. Jenna stayed in the room while I went to campus; doing her Management report. I get pissed and I went home with geram mood and face. Yes, I know I should have listened to you, friend; that I should just skip the meeting and stay at home.

Like I said, its God's plan. We didn't do the meeting and I went library to find more materials for Management. And I get pissed and I couldn't even have my nap, and I called my friend. We talked about lots of stuff and I told her I dislike someone and something. I complained a lot I guess. And of course, I feel better after that. Although I still feel annoyed even till at night, its better after I've expressed everything and have some advice and few words of comfort from her. We talked for almost half an hour and yea, through phone, all the way to Perth; I called. Don't be shock, because you would do the same if you miss your best friend and if you have lots to share with her. Because; it worths.

I then went out with Jenna. We actually have this plan, to go funfair. But then, when we reached her home and started to do her Management while waiting for her dad, this happened- rain. So, we ended up doing Management report and view Friendster profiles, watch tv and gossip about other people; as usual. Oh yes, and this-

Because we had our breakfast+lunch+dinner very early, so we get hungry at 10pm something and Jenna made us roti while I made Milo. Now then I remember, I have a piece of roti in the morning made by Ms. J too. How nice, still remember I have the bad habit that I don't consume breakfast. Haha.

This is what we ate for our dinner+supper= tuna egg bread+milo. Thanky thank. We slept at 2am and guess what, we woke up at 7am; according to her. But I guess we were awake since 630am. We only slept for approximately 5 hours. Guess this is pretty fine on me. I've get use to that I suppose. Before we went to campus to submit Jen's assignments, sempat she said "Aiya, I forgot to make bread" (in chinese). That's why I said "you are qualified to be a mother already". Haha.Just joking, no offend. Anyway, thank you, for the bread in the morning, the bread for supper, and also the breakfast this morning. 两块半! (rm2.50 in Chinese). And yea, tomorrow, an early thank you for sending me to the airport. Me is going home! You is going Kuching! And don't forget- next next Sunday, 07 Sept; after church =)

Happiness

2008-08-25T23:46:00.001+08:00

Finally, week four has ended. Now, is week free. Even though I couldn't go back home as earlier as other friends, at least I get the chance to go back. Guess what, again; this free week isn't a week free as I have two presentations after this one week free, one individual, another one in group. And also, I have two mid-term tests after the holidays too. Anyway, I have no mood at the moment to think about that. Lets see whats the good things that make me feel happy last week and before I post this thingy:

Done FTV 243 presentation on last Monday. Pretty fine, I guess.
Submitted FTV 243 concept on last Thursday.
Submitted MCI 102 essay on last Friday.
Received card from a best friend. Thank you =)
Hanged out with friends.
Got time to mail with friends.
Solved a problem that has been bothering me the other day.
Talked to a friend that is in overseas.
Got text messages from my secondary school teacher/friend.
Prepared to pack!
And some other stuff.....

That's it I guess. At the moment. Haha. Of course, there are some stuff that made me pissed and frustrated too. I was very geram at that moment, yet that did not give any impact right now! Balik kampung mood.

Attention!!!

2008-08-22T21:40:00.000+08:00

Ergh!! I am in dilemma now! Again. I planned to cut my hair short but I'm scared I'll regret. Because it is still straight. How? Should I cut? yes? no? Please help me.

HELP!!

?

2008-08-18T21:30:00.005+08:00

What is wrong with me?

What is wrong with them?

What is wrong with everything?

What is wrong?

What the heck is going on?

17 August.Spiritual Low

2008-08-17T18:03:00.010+08:00

17 August.Sunday.
I went to church with Jenna and Hui Shan this morning. I remembered that the pastor talked about spiritual high and spiritual low and the love of God for us is endless. Apparently, I'm in a spiritual low condition today. My mind, my mood, is now under maintenance. I have presentation tomorrow and I'm not prepared for that yet. I have two assignments due on Wednesday and Thursday and I am not even half way done yet.

All I could say is that, my mood is affected not only by my own pressure to assignments, but also the messages and phone calls I received yesterday. And this morning, my mind is full of all the negative thoughts and all the why? why? why? how? I can't sit still when I was in church; I can't concentrate on doing my presentation slides; I can't sleep even I know I'm sleepy. I keep thinking whether I've hurt someone today, yesterday?Their feelings and all that. Did I ignore someone's feeling? Did my words made them unhappy? Did I made them worried? Obviously, the conversation I had with my cousin a day ago still bothering me. Obviously, the another conversation that I had yesterday ain't a good thing for me. Am regretting the deal we have made the other day?Maybe.

Then I remembered what the pastor said this morning. Spiritual high and spiritual low.We pray when we are in spiritual low. Guess I'm in a spiritual low condition today; as I keep thinking about all the negative things which all are my own assumptions, not even proved yet. Like I am living in my own world now. I can't get out. Then I think, why don't I pray? I remembered also once, a cousin told me "Silent isn't the solution". I was always in silent mode when I am thinking about something or when I am under pressure; or when I am not in a good mood. That is why he said silent ain't the solution. We need to speak it out, either to God or to anyone that we can trust. True. But why can't I do that? why don't I pray?

Because I am weak. Because I care too much about the content of those sms and what I've heard. Because; somehow, I regret.

I'm sorry.

Tell ;Tell no?

2008-08-15T20:59:00.007+08:00

Will you tell someone that you love them if you really do?Will you tell them you miss them if you really do?Perhaps yes, you will, if that someone is close to you. That's my answer. I had this conversation with my cousin just now; and this conversation really makes me think a lot. Even till now. I couldn't remember how we started this topic; randomly, maybe. We just feel 'regret' that we didn't contact with each other that often now (calling to/from overseas is not that easy.Especially when you don't have enough credit!). There are lots of things happened and we realized that we didn't manage to share, to catch up everything just by one and a half hour phone call. We did mail to each other, but I have to admit that, sometimes calling or talking on the phone is much better than mailing.

Then she told me that,her father;my uncle, misses me.We have not met since I was 11, I guess. And we have not talked for a year, I guess. I used to tell her or even my close friends that I dislike him, because of some reasons. Yet, I do not know why, when she told me that he missed me, I feel like crying. I have to admit that,sometimes, somehow, I did think about him.Meaning,I missed him too. Others always tell me that, you couldn't hate or dislike your own family.Even though you did, you can't hate them forever. After all,they are still your family. Then I told my cousin that, actually I didn't dislike him that much now; compared to few years ago. And I told her that, it is hard to tell a person that you actually missed him especially if he knows that you used to dislike him that much; and till now, still, you dislike him. And it is easy to let a person know if you dislike him; by the way you talk to them and by the way you look at them.

My cousin then, again, told me that, it is impossible for us to dislike our family forever. We have to tell, especially to our family, if we miss them and we love them. Imagine if I am going to leave this world soon. What will I do with my family and my friends? I told her that, I will cherish every day, every moment, and every second that I could spend with them. I will do anything for them and I will tell them everything, everything; that I wish to let them know. I will ask for their forgiveness,etc. She told me I used to tell her that I missed my grandmum. And if I were given a second chance, I will tell her how much I missed her and how much I love her. Applying this to the question she asked, I understand that she is trying to tell me we should cherish, we should treasure, every moment that we could spend with our family and our friends. Because, life is unpredictable. You will never know what will happen next.

In the end of the conversation, I promised her that, I will talk to her father if he calls me. In fact, he hasn't called me since; I don't even remember when. What has happened, its past tense. What I'm concern about now is future tense. I learnt to pray, I learnt to trust Him,believe Him, and I learnt to forgive and forget. Although sometimes it is hard for us to forget something that someone has done to us, no matter what, no matter how, we should forgive them. Especially if they are your family. Because they love you.And of course, you love them. It is undeniable, we might can't believe that, or we might not know that;but that's the truth. The best example- Me and my uncle; I used to dislike him and I know I am still, till now. Yet, I also realized that I thinked about him too, once in a while. I care about him too, sometimes. Otherwise, I wouldn't care how have he been this while. Perhaps one day, I will tell him that I miss him, too. Who knows. Yet, for sure, I will tell him I feel sorry for not respecting and for upsetting him. In the end, I did realized that,I was wrong, too. I shouldn't be that harsh to him.

So, what are you waiting for?If you love someone, you should tell them you love them. If you miss someone, you should tell them you miss them. If you want to thank someone, just say thank you to them. If you feel sorry to someone, don't feel shy to say sorry. If you hate or dislike someone, then you should forgive them.Yet, I know that's not easy. I myself might can't say it out so easily.Especially to him.Haha!

Thank you, God, for giving me my lovely family, caring cousins, and good friends; and I love you because I know you will always stand by me. Thank you, daddy mummy, and I love both of you everyday! Thank you, cousins, and I love all always! Thank you, dear friends, and I love you all too! =)

Thank you

2008-08-13T18:34:00.003+08:00

Today, I am happy. So far, everything is just on track now. Jenna and I went to the Miri Methodist Children's Home today; to do an interview for my FTV assignment. Thank God, we did it. I will start to develop my concept into script.

We went Bintang for lunch. Had pizza. Then she sent me back to campus for MCI class. I didn't skip my class today, okay. And I will not. Well, am tired for few days and fortunately, everything went quite well for me today; and I am happy; and I can rest and sleep early today.

What ealse, not forgetting; thank you, Jenna. For accompanying and sending me to the Children's Home. Thank you, Dada, for the idea that you have told me. I would never sort my problems out if you didn't suggest me to do a PR video. Thank you, Mr.Rama for the approval and suggestion. Thank you, God.Thankssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!

Ciao!

Wednesday

2008-08-06T17:49:00.002+08:00

Last last sem, I hate Wednesday. Last sem, I disliked Tuesday. Guess what, this sem, I dislike Wednesday again. When I told my friends, "I hate Wednesday"; they asked me why and this reminds me of the reason why I hate Wednesday last last sem.

This sem, I hate Wednesday for two reasons. First, Wednesday is full of classes. Second, Wednesday has MCI classes. Somehow, I just don't really like MCI. Especially this semester. In short, Wedesday is the busiest day of a week. Had my Statistics 101 class yesterday. Wasn't that scary as I thought. Yet, I hope I can survive in this class. Know what, this unit covers Probability; which is the topic that I used to hate so much when I was in secondary school. I remembered that, I would never do a Probability question in my Mathemathics or Add Math exam paper. I would just skip that question and do another one. Oh, God.

At first, I thought that I would be alone in the class. And I was worried about that so much. Reading the mail my friend sent me the other day and also the notes that she used to write for me; she said "...you are not 'lonely' because God is with you,always'. That really helps a lot. Whenever I thought that I am all alone, I will look at tha note that I paste it on my wall; and I would start to imagine if I were her, and I am studying in a country that I know no one, what will I do.Calm, and pray, and always remember that, I'm not alone. Thank you so much, for someone that is in Aus. Somehow, your mail and your note really help =)

Oh yes, tuition free week is coming soon. Should I back or not? The flight ticket is RM 279 for AirAsia and RM 290 for Malaysia Airlines. From KK to Miri and from Miri to KK. Back? Not back? By the way, I have a presentation and two assignments due a week before free week. And I have two mid term test and two presentations plus an assignment due a week after the holiday. Huh! And now, corporate video concept, script, clients,etc is driving me to craziness. So, go back? Stay here?

Things to be done in these weeks:

week 3- FTV243 corporate video (basic concept+client)
week 4 -FTV243 presentation on Monday
week 4- MCI102 first assignment due on Wednesday
week 4- FTV243 first assignment due on Thursday
week 6- MCI102 presentation on Wednesday
week 6- C.Behaviour 102 mid term test on Friday
week 7- B.Statistics 101 mid term test on Saturday

Now is week two. And I have done nothing! Week four! I dislike you!

Title-less

2008-07-30T12:07:00.002+08:00

Untitled post.

I'm depress. Full of depression.

Cow or Sheep.

2008-07-25T22:58:00.013+08:00

Cow.

When I was still wondering what should I do for today, Jenna text me yesterday night and yes, I helped her for some craft works today; for her church. We started to work from 2pm in the afternoon and guess what, it took us for six hours to finish all the stuff. At once, we were shouting at each other in the room about the finished Sellotape. She claimed that our works would be easier if we have the 'big' Sallotape, like the one she brought; while I claimed that, it is all the same even with the 'small' one. After all, we have finished the 'big' one and we have no any other options than using the 'small' one. After a while, I accidentally used hers and then we started to shout at each other so loud (Because she has two 'small' rolls of Sellotapes and she gave me one and said "Nah,you use this, and I use this"). And according to her, I should use the one she gave me but not hers; because the one she gave was already mine. I stunned for few seconds and I was about to tell you this,until you read this blog- Jenna, this is really LAME! Shouting at each other loudly in the room reminds me of Stephanie. We used to shout at each other and laughed so loud in our rooms, especially at night, after we finished our works; and we would imagine that our house mates would thought that we were crazy and they would cry because they can't concentrate on their studies as we were too noisy.

And yes, sitting on the floor and cutting all these stuff also reminds me of our Malaysian Studies exhibition posters that I have done with Sura. Good memories. Can you imagine that we were actually cutting and talking and Sellotaping for six hours; not counting the break we had for lunch. Time flies when you have work to do, or someone to talk with. I told her I dreamt of Manda and the scenes in the dream are still so fresh in my mind till now. It is weird and it is lame. In the dream, I was in a room where my former tuition teacher was there teaching and I received Manda's call from Perth. Isn't that lame?

Talking about 'lame'. Jenna and I had this funny deal that, we will substitute the word 'lame' to 'cow'. Because I told her that, I have never say she is lame after she claimed that she is not. Then she said "then we say sheep la" (Because of the pronunciation; lame=lamb=sheep). Yet, we realized that the word 'sheep' sounds like 'sh*t'; so, we substitute it to 'cow'. So now you tell me, that is lame or cow, or funny?And this is why this post is entitled as above; Cow or Sheep. Finally, we finished our work at 8pm. She thanked, but I think I am the one who should thank because she gave me some work to do. At least, I don't feel so bored and doing the same thing everyday -eat, sleep, go online, watch movies, sms, etc. And, at least, other than my mum, someone talked to me today. *laughs*

I then went to dinner with Hsia at Double Star and have a walk at Toys World and Servay. Tired, but me is happy today =)

One of our final works.

Not good.

2008-07-23T23:18:00.003+08:00

.........................................................................................................................................

Annabelle: What?Why not good?

Julia: Because;because la!

Annabelle: What??

Julia: Because..Because I miss home la! Just don't know why. I really miss home.

Annabelle: Call your mum.

Julia: This will make me miss home more hor..

Annabelle: Then don't think too much.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Belle called yesterday; when I was having my dinner. She is going to somewhere else for her training soon. Someone is going to graduate soon! *winks*. Ooh, know what I had for my dinner yesterday? According to the equation of Math, this was my dinner: Dinner= Milo+Biscuits. I told my cousin that I wasn't feeling well since the day I came back. The term "wasn't feeling well" doesn't mean that I am sick. I meant, I don't feel happy. Just don't know why, I miss home very much. I think I've never had this kind of feeling before. Usually I would just missed home but not till the stage where miss home very much. I just don't know why. Went to town with Hsia this two days. Thank you, Hsia Hsia. Honestly, I really don't know what should I do if I am not going to town. I shouldn't come back so early. I just miss home so so so much! I miss my daddy and mummy! I miss the time when three of us went out for steamboat and shopping after dinner! And I miss the time when we used to discuss about any television shows at night! Please, someone please; bring me back home...

$%#@&!

2008-07-12T00:45:00.006+08:00

I have just checked the website of our uni. This sem then they have this online class registration; meaning, we do not need to go back campus earlier to register our class, which is a good news. However, for me it is not! For two semesters my friend and I have been struggling for the days that we need to be there to the registration. We tried to book our ticket earlier so that we would not miss the day; yet, we never success. We were always late; and so, this sem, I booked my ticket one week earlier before the classes start and now then they have this 'new' system. Can you tell me what am I suppose to do in that one week???!One week man!!And you know what,I checked the timetable; and ooh, they have this new style of checking our timetable too. You can choose which department you are and which units you are taking and all the tutorial classes will be listed down. I click on my department which is B.Commerce/Mass Comm, and I don't see my media units.So,what is that means?Ooh,this sem they don't offer media units??That's great!Let us all change uni!Or what?They forgot?Is this consider as bias?You know the answer.

I don't usually say this and now,I am sorry but I just have to say it so that I would feel better. WHAT THE FU*K!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Celaka betul! Can anyone tell me what am I suppose to do in that one week time?Can anyone please stop me for not feeling upset?Can anyone please tell me that actually I don't have to be so angry?Stop me for feeling disappointed!Someone please!!Ooh,I am so so so disappointed. Now you know why I always said "I hate..."? The system and facilities are so 'good' hoh?

Out

2008-07-09T21:55:00.004+08:00

This morning I received a sms from my friend Manda; "Julia!Result out!". I was sleeping that time and my first reaction was- Are you sure?I thought results will only be out at 5pm; as usual. Yes, it was out that time. I went to check immediately and.....

I PASSED!!!!

That's true; like what my friend said,we passed this sem. Now...second year! Congratulations to all! And yes, I am looking forward to the summer course I am taking next sem. Someone is coming! And I'm happy. *winks* If you know what I mean =)

26.5

2008-07-08T14:24:00.002+08:00

In another 26 and 1/2 hours, exam results will be out. As usual, I'll pray for them and they'll pray for me. Thank God, I didn't see my student ID in the supplementary test list for Legal 100. Meaning, my result for that unit is either pass or fail. I'm quite confident with that. The only unit that I'm scared; I suppose all of us are quite worried for that; is MCI 101. I hope I don't get heart attack tomorrow. I just need that 17% from my major essay that worth 30%, which I forgot to put in graphs.Oh God.

Went to the bank today with daddy mummy and Rachel. I wonder, don't those receptionists learn ECS?Or something that is similar to ECS; Effective Communication Skills. Even staffs in our own campus that offers this unit to all the foundation studies students. Isn't that quite lame and quite ashame if the uni that you work in offers that unit that teaches the students how to communicate well but in the same time you are mean to the students?This reminds me of the day when I went to the student services with Aki and Mei Mei. That's why I said- All the receptionists in Malaysia should learn ECS before they can start working. That's why la. You don't study in Curtin and you don't know what is ECS. Don't have to say communicate; you don't even know how to answer the student's questions properly. What kind of services is that. Go take 'summer course' for ECS during tuition free week la. Of course there are some receptionists in some counter that is quite polite. But there are also some receptionists in some certain counters that are impolite. Remember last time I used to listen all the complains about the 'lady in student services' from my friend. Now, I've experience it myself. Why don't the uni doesn't have evaluation for the facilities arr?Ooh,if they have this, I'll surely write few pages like I did in my Legal exam or even in the Bahasa Malaysia karangan exam during SPM.

Good! And I'll get A1 for that!

Lost

2008-06-22T22:44:00.007+08:00

有时候真的不知道该怎么办才好。
发生了一些不可预知的事，但却没有办法马上解决
越想就越心烦.
这个假期不是一个假期
因为跟老爸和叔叔学了很多东西
过得很充实.因为这一直是我想要做的事情
但也因为这突然发生的事情弄得心烦意乱.
不知道该怎么办.也迷失了方向
现在好像不管对什么事都没有兴趣了.

今早去看了医生.
医生说身体又好像差了.
胃本来就不好,现在更糟.
而且也因为胃不好,医生说这会让身体更差;更容易生病.
这也是为什么我常生病的原因?
给了药.吃了药.现在要慢慢的调理身体.

现在还是觉得很烦.
而且,我也发现一件事....
我的华语变差了!!!!!
汉语平音也差了!!

算了算了.
反正又没有华文考试.
明天考试的朋友,祝你们好运!
今天就到此为止.
ciao!

怎么办

2008-06-20T22:37:00.001+08:00

Something happened and I don't know what to do. Hate it! Ooh God! Free me!! I want my freedom! Yo la pierdo!!

To Daddy

2008-06-15T23:25:00.001+08:00

Dear daddy,

Happy Fathers' Day. Thank you for everything that you have done fr me, to our family. I'll do all the best to make you proud of me. I love you, daddy.

Quote for the sem

2008-06-12T11:49:00.005+08:00

Its already the end of this semester. Actually we have invented a lot of quotes this sem during our daily conversation; when we were gossiping; and the mail from friend and cousins,etc. Even it was not 'invented' by us, sometimes we just find that it was funny and lame when we say it out. Some of them I find it cute, funny, lame and; just have some special meaning. And here I quote some of them.

----------------------------------------------------------------

“Aki cannot be modified” (Apple, 2008).

“C’mon lah, I saying you.Can’t you look deep inside and sayang me back?” (Tanggau, J.J. 2008).

“Go supermarket buy new hand phone?!” (Leong, A. 2008).

“Goreng the kepala!” (Nanta, A.S. 2008).

“he被电到” (Ting, 2008).

“he真的很难really被电到” (Chong, P.X. 2008).

“How much you bought that Julia?” (Leong, H. 2008).

“I'm free to be myself!!!”(Tiong, S. 2008).

“I’m not gonna say sorry” (Venkatasawmy, R. 2008).

“I’m sick and my mind can’t work properly” (Chong, J. 2008).

“I am a designer” (Hii, J. 2008).

“I am neutral” (Tan, S. 2008).

“It was a friendship that became a secret” (Brokeback Mountain, 2008).

“I need to see what you see” (Hii, J. 2008).

“If you’re terminated, then you are terminator” (Sham, 2008).

“I want bak kut tehhhhhhhhhhh!!” (Nanta, A. S. 2008).

“I need to niao niao” (Yip, B. 2008).

“...kena ribut kuat there.You must berteduh secepat mungkin” (Nanta,A.S.2008).

“Let’s name it as Gunung Belakang Patah” (Venkatasawmy, R. 2008).

“MCI 读来没有zhoi 用” (Tan, D. 2008).

“Me 很不爽” (Chong, J. 2008).

“Miri no water meh?” (Chong, A. 2008).

“Show ball” (Hiew, L. 2008).

“This is a Venkatasawmy story” (Chong, J. 2008).

“Thoc Thoc Choast” (Tiong, S. 2008).

“Ting Mei Noob!” (Chong, P.X. 2008).

“When are you flying?” (Leong, A. 2008).

“穿得很凉” (Hiew, L. 2008).

“何必咧” (Tiong, S. 2008).

“叫他去死” (Chong, P.X. 2008).

“考完试的人不用讲话” (Alfred, J. 2008).

“可以不要那样吗?” (Chong, J. 2008).

“难服侍” (Chong, J. 2008).

“你的华语到几多?” (Chong, J. 2008).

“你luk着去啦” (Chong. P.X. 2008).

“去ABC 吃café” (Chong,P.X. 2008).

“我的脚不能够呼吸 eh” (Ting, 2008).

“我跟 Teh- O peng 很有缘” (Ting, 2008).

“我觉得她很可怜,每次被我笑；她觉得我很可怜,每次自己一个人笑” (Chong, J. 2008).

“我看这个人的脸, 他的名字很像Keith” (Alfred, J. 2008).

“我现在宣布你们为合法夫 ‘屈’ ” (Tan, S. 2008).

“我真得很noob” ( Ting, 2008).

“又不是我冷” (Yong, J. 2008).

-----------------------------------------------------

Sources: Alexander Leong & Julia Chong, Amanda Sura Nanta, Annabelle Leong, (Mr.)Anthony Chong (daddy), Apple, Belinda Yip, Brokeback Mountain, Chong Ping Xing, Del Tan, (Mdm.)Helena Leong (mommy), Jeffery James Tanggau, Jenna Alfred, (Mr.)John Hii, Julia Chong, (Ms.)Juliana Yong, Leann Yee Hiew,(Mr.)Rama Venkatasawmy, Samson Tan, Sham, Stephanie Tiong, Ting Mei Mei. (Alphabetically)

Found yours? *winks*

-----------------------------------------------------

Well, I am looking forward to next semester and we'll quote moree!! =)

The End

2008-06-11T14:31:00.004+08:00

I finished my first and last; and the only paper today. No comment. Satisfied. And I'm going back home tomorrow afternoon! Hooray!! Well, good luck to my other friends that are going to have their exam next week and the following week. I'll keep praying. And yes, thank you for everyone and everything that you guys have done for me. Me love you all!! Will be seeing you guys next sem. All the best for exam and do enjoy your holidays after exam! Hugss!

Study Week

2008-06-02T23:42:00.001+08:00

Here we are now. Another week before exam. Know what, I can't study at home!!!Distraction!! One topic for one whole day. I have no effort to 'make' effort. Oh Gosh, I need to go to the library. I'm going to stay in the library for the whole day this Wednesday. Yes, I have to study hard and work hard as I have promised.

Happy Gawai

2008-06-01T13:37:00.001+08:00

A simple and short post to all my friends especially to those who celebrates today.

Selamat Hari Gawai.

Happy Gawai.

Screening

2008-05-29T22:22:00.003+08:00

Thursday; its been two weeks since the day we started to shoot, editing and doing all the assignments. Now, the semester has come to an end. Its time to prepare for our finals. We were tired this morning as most of us did not sleep since last night. As for me, I only slept for three hours and only after I have submitted my MCI major essay, then I realized that I did not put the graphs in my essay as required. It's too late to regret and now I really need to pray real hard to past and start prepare for my Legal final exam. After submitting our assignments, we went back home to sleep instead of going to watch movie as planned. Went back to campus for our drama production screening at 6pm. As asked by the director, yes, I wore 'formal', to take pictures.

Esther

Esther, Mei Mei, and Aki

The screening took us for almost two hours. Well, I'm impressed with all the works that have done by our friends. Good job,people! Thank you for our lectures and our friends for this semester. Good luck for the finals!

Submitted "Gunung Belakang Patah"

2008-05-28T21:58:00.008+08:00

Today is the submission day for our Drama Production assignment. My production plan is 99.5% done and we only need to transfer our film and we are done. 3.45pm,I am proudly to announce that,we were the first group to submit our project. 'Gunung Belakang Patah' is now submitted and we are free from the cool editing room. We took pictures with our lecture, Mr.Rama and technical officer, Ms.Juliana.

Mr.Rama, and our crew.

Ms.Juliana and our crew.

Again, good job to all our friends. And I would like to thank my crew members, Aki, Mei Mei, and Del; and also our casts and also Mr.Rama and Ms.Juliana. I am happy and glad to work with you guys.

We went cafe to have ABC and again, we invented another new quote - "Go ABC to eat cafe". I like this one! Ooh, don't you think I looked like a cat in the picture below? *laughs*

Tonight, I shall stay awake to finish up my MCI essay, and after tomorrow, I'm free! Looking forward for the drama production screening tomorrow evening.

Feel sorry to my friend that our lecturer deleted her scene. I don't feel good for this either.

Photographs taken by Aki and Khairul.

23 May - 27 May

2008-05-27T20:47:00.006+08:00

23rd May; Friday
An unforgettable day. Stephanie arrived Miri in the evening. She is one of the friends that I could tell everything; that would always laugh as loud as we could with me; that would always play with me; and will always help and support me. We went to have dinner at town. Yea, we laughed so loud that night in the room till the house mates actually thought that- Julia is laughing alone in the room??

Pharmacist off duty when we went to buy medicine

24th May; Saturday
This was the day where my gastric pain get worse. We went to the Academic Awareness talk organized by the School of Business of Curtin Uni in the morning. And we love one of the sentences that mentioned by the HOD; and here I quote, "...If you are being terminated, then you are a terminator" (Sham, 2008). Introduced Steph to my new friends. Yes, I would always introduce my new friends to my friends that I trust the most. Its sort of; 'approval' thingy. So that my friends would know who are the people that I am hanging out. We stayed at home that afternoon and went dinner with Hsia and Jack at Bah Kut Teh cafe.

25th May; Sunday
This day, Steph and I went to town. Had fun. Basically, we bought all the stuff that we planned to buy. We were there to watch a Wushu tournament and I was impressed with all the performances. We were tired but had fun =)

Wushu Tournament

26th May; Monday
Its already Monday and I am still busying with my post production work. Production plan wasn't done yet and I have another 30% major essay to due. I wasn't really happy this morning because of something that is unmentionable. Yet, I do had fun with Steph in the mall. We talked a lot of stuff; like we used to. Went out for dinner with Hsia and Jack. It seems like I have already started to count the 'hours'. The hours where she is going to leave. There are so much things that we promised to do together when we meet, and I am afraid that we have no enough time to do all that. We went for a stroll that night. The stars were pretty =)

Lunch
Dinner

27th May; Tuesday

I promised myself to be strong and not to cry when we send her off. We managed to control our tears; for the first time. I know I am strong enough to face this and she promised that she will come and visit us once in a semester. I know that we will keep in contact and we will meet again soon. I filled my time with the production plan in the FTV lab and library as the submission date is the next day. Went home and had a nap. When I woke up, I just felt the emptiness in a sudden. "It wasn't like this yesterday"; that's what in my mind at that moment. Again, I filled my time with production plan so that I wouldn't think so much.

sick

2008-05-23T14:53:00.003+08:00

Well, I am still sick today. Gastric, flu, cough. Feel better today though. Might because of the tiredness. Stayed in the editing room for the whole day and this is what I got. I hate to be sick. Especially when I am having flu. Because that is the time where I can't do my work properly as my mind can't 'function' well.

As for gastric; this was my 'old friend'. I had this during my secondary school. Whenever I did not eat properly, I'll have this. The worst was; went to the clinic and take painkiller then on the way home, vomit in dad's car. Oh God, my parents are going to kill me if they know about this. Yes, I promised my friends that I will have my proper meal and I'm trying to 'adjust' my meal-time back. From having dinner and supper at 10pm, now I am having my dinner at 8pm. Sounds more normal?

Today, I think all my crew members are unhappy. Mr. Rama said that we did not follow our script and this made our film not 'firm'. As we wrote the script so well and so interesting that it would absolutely be a successful film. Because of lacking some elements, our film became not firm anymore. We have no extra footages to cover the mistakes, so we might need to re-shoot for some scenes.

And yes, Stephanie is coming today. We are going to fetch her later. Hope I could get well soon. Real soon. These few days, I really need to thank my friends that care about me so much. Nagging me not to drink cold stuff and have proper meal, sms-ing me asking whether I am doing fine, mailing me and ask me to take care of myself,etc. I don't have to tell who they are, and you know who you are. Thank you and me love you all =)

The Other Day...

2008-05-22T13:33:00.005+08:00

This are some of the photos that we have taken last week during shooting. Some of them were taken by Aki and some of them were by Gerain =)

Set up

Casts: Jenna, Jeffery James

Shooting, cast: Kenneth

Casts

Julia: Ooi,orang di 'atas', I'm tired la.Help me massage uii.

Jenna and I

Shoot Day two : Sam, Del, Mei Mei

Shoot Day Two: Del's house; camera.

Past-Present

2008-05-21T00:12:00.013+08:00

I hope it is still not too late. It is predictable that I might will post some of the photos that we have took before the shooting days, during shooting, after shooting, and all the photos that we have took recently. From past tense to present tense.

Past: Approval

Collecting Equipment

Shoot Day One : Miri City Fan

Frustration- Aki: Eh,we have 'new' camera ehh.

Equipments

Shooting

Shoot Day To : Del's house

Present: I'm sick today still, have strength to play around =)

I'm sick today. Stayed too long in the cool editing room. Currently still busy with my production plan. Some of the photos were taken by Aki while some of them were by Gerain.

This is us...

2008-05-20T23:16:00.011+08:00

Today is already the second day of our post-production work. Still finding ways in re-filling my production plan and completing my MCI 101 analytical essay before Friday. Its due next week though. I just want to finish up all these so that I can spend my weekend with Steph that is coming to visit us this weekend. I promised her I'll spend my time 'playing' with her. Anyway;well, it seems a bit late now; to introduce my crew members to the 'public' officially and to post the photos that we have took these few days include the photos during and before shooting days. Hope its not too late yet. And here I am to introduce you our crew members of 'Gunung Belakang Patah' (Brokenback Mountain) ...

The Director and Editor: Aki

The Producer and Continuity officer: Me; Julia

The Cinematographer: Del

The Sound person and Props officer: Mei Mei

Next, is about today. Today, we had our presentation for MCI 101. I was so nervous as it was my first and only presentation for this semester. It was not a formal presentation though. Some of us even just wear like what we used to wear to campus. Thank you God, everything was fine. I can say that it was better than what I have expected. I did not practice much a day before; I just made the slides at 11pm and I only practiced once. Thank God I remembered all the points and elaborations that I should remember. I was nervous at the beginning and I even said my topic wrongly. However, everything was fine after that. Thank you God. Here is one of the photos that we have took today; with Del and Samson =)

Post-production

2008-05-19T23:17:00.010+08:00

That day, when we were waiting for the casts; shoot day 1.

Today we have started or post production work. Transfered footages and select scenes that we want. While me, started to play back all the scenes that we have shot to jot down all the time code that is needed for shooting schedule and continuity log sheet.

Also, we did some silly stuff while waiting for Ms. Juliana to set up in the editing suite. The FTV lab was so cold that we need to go to the washroom very often (If you get what I mean). *laughs*

our new 'chair'.

this new chair can fit three people.

Silly people =)

Had gastric this evening. Damn pain. Feel like vomiting even after I ate something. Well, it is the second time in this semester, and during this project. Yes, I will remember to eat next time. Proper meal; in-time-meal. Tomorrow I have presentation. Wish me luck!

Tagged

2008-05-19T01:39:00.009+08:00

Tagged by Aki..

8 things I'm passionate about:
1. my laptop
2. my mobile
3. my blog
4. pictures in my laptop
5. INTERNET
6. my books
7. my bed
8. MSN

8 things i say often:
1. TMD
2. What??
3. Can you please don't be like this (in Chinese)
4. Weiii!
5. Don't want arr! (also in Chinese)
6. Whatever it is la!
7. 随便啊!!
8. 管他去死啊!!

8 books i read recently
1. the five people you meet in heaven by Mitch Albom
2. Legal Framework 100 study guide
3. Producing video - a complete guide
4. Women in Malaysia (for MCI essay)
5. FTV 121 Production plan (not a book though)
6. Representation: Culture Representation

8 songs i could listen over n over again
1. California - Mates of States
2. Hide and Seek - Imogen Heap
3. Collide - Howie Day
4. Feels Like I'm in Love - Kelly Marie
5. Drowning - Backstreet Boys
6. 小情歌 - 苏打绿
7. 勁歌金曲2 - 情歌- 古巨基
8. 捕夢人- 潘裕文

8 things i've learn from past year:
1. Choosing a good group member/friend
2. Patience
3. Communication
4. Time management
5. Punctuality
6. In writing a good journal log
7. To analyst a film critically (FTV 121)
8. Teamwork

18th May

2008-05-18T20:46:00.005+08:00

Waken up by mom's call this morning at 11 in the morning. Feeling dead since yesterday after shooting. Was shocked by Aki's message about we have forgotten to shoot one of the scenes, and we need to re-shoot. I'm like- What??

We decided not to re-shoot as we have shot extra scenes and thank God, it was suitable for the 'forgotten scene'. Still, till now I am feeling dead and I still don't feel my feet on the ground. Starting tomorrow, would be another busy week for all of us. Some groups are still doing their production while we are going to start our post-production works.

Although we were all tired, I enjoyed doing all this; the shooting process. From preproduction, production, to post-production. This is why I chose this course. I am doing something that I like and would never regret.

Am looking forward to this Thursday and Friday. Hope I can finish all my works that are going to due next week before this Thursday:

Transferring the footages on Monday
Re-filling the continuity log sheet on Monday
Start editing on Monday
Presentation on Tuesday
Production Plan
Analytical Essay worth 30%
Final Drama Production worth 30%
Legal 100 revision

And yes, I am fully booked for this weekend. From Friday till next Monday =)

No regret.

Shoot Day 2

2008-05-17T22:59:00.013+08:00

17^th May 2008, Saturday; is our second shootong day for Drama Production. We went to campus this morning as required by our lecturer that we need to attend a talk which is compulsory to all the first year media students. Ah hah! We went but no one is there. We waited for almost one and a half hour then we left.

Went to the hostel to wait our cast, JJ. All of us were like half dead as we were all tired. We then went to Del’s house for shooting. We started our shooting activity at one something and it finally ended at five in the evening. Hoorayy!!

During shooting, I feel so dead and yes, I almost fall asleep at times. Mei Mei was so hungry that she ate almost half tank of Del’s Jacob biscuits; the boys, Del, JJ, Kenneth; ate five packs of instant noodles. And there's a lot of funny scenes we had during shooting especially the kissing scene. I didn’t manage to jot down all the time code during shooting as we have many takes and shots in a scene. Will need approximately an hour to watch what we have shot and write it down on Monday, before we started to edit.

Somehow, I can’t feel my feet on the ground when I reached home. Was so tired that I can’t even walk properly. Showered, then I went to bed. Sleep ‘deadly’ that I can’t even hear my phone when my friend sms me.

Finally, we have done for our shooting. Now, we need to concentrate on our editing work, and for me, I need to fully concentrate on the production plan. Trust me; re-filling the plan is as stress as when we need to seek for approval before shooting. Can you imagine? I need to go through this filling process twice in a production; haven't counted when the script being rejected and I have to refill part. And of course, this time would be different as we do not need approval from anyone. Basically, I just need to refill everything that I have jotted down during the shooting. The only part that is hard is that; I need to spend at least an hour to sit and watch all the footages that we have shot so that I can fill the plan, and also, I need to recall everything that happens during the shoot as some of the forms required us to fill in the description of a particular scene; what mistakes of that shot, etc.

Drama Production '08 crew group photo.

Still, next week is going to be a busy week as I have to do all my work before Friday so that I can go out with my friend that come to visit us from KL. I have a presentation on Tuesday; and basically I need to do my research essay that worth 30% which is due on the next Tuesday; and also the production plan, along with our edited film which is also worth 30% and is due next Wednesday. Good luck people, for the production and post-production work;and also the presentation, and research essay.

Thank you God, for the good weather and everything. Thanks to all our production crew: Director, Aki; Cinematographer, Del; Sound and Props, Mei Mei; and all our casts.

Current mood: next Thursday or Friday, June!

And yes, I know that escape is not the solution but honestly, I have no mood and courage for this. "Say 'NO'!! Don't come near me!!" (Chong, J. 2008).

Shoot Day 1

2008-05-16T23:59:00.010+08:00

16th May 2008, Friday;we had our first shot for Drama Production at Miri City Fan. Thank God, the weather was quite good. Its not bright nor sunny though. We managed to shoot what we need to shoot on that day, that scene. We faced frustration since the beginning; during the collection of equipments. We can't make a decision whether or not we want to share our lighting equipment with the other group as the procedures we need to went through is complicated. Lastly, we decided to take the equipment and the equipment finally goes with Jason's group. Of course, while we were waiting for the technical officer, Ms. Juliana, we took some silly pictures:

Then we departed to our destination. When we finally wanted to shoot and was setting up the equipment, we realized that the camera that we had was so special. It was so special that we can't slide it to the tripod. We thought that we had a new camera that we have never used before. At that point, everyone was so frustrated and we decided to call Mei Mei who departed later than us to see what we can do. I always said that I believe God has His own way and I do believe that He listens to our prayer. Thank you God; Mei Mei hasn't left Senadin yet and she and her friends went back to campus again to ask for help.

Yes, I have to admit that when we are in frustration and did not know what to do; we will do some emo stuff. Seems like 'quarreling' on the phone,smoke,foul words,etc. When they finally reached, we laughed at each other. Funny people! We spent almost one or two hours in waiting, and fixing the equipments; plus the time our crew spent to drive to somewhat shop to fix the microphone's wire.

Finally done. We went to have our very late lunch at McDonald's. Then went back home, shower and I went to Grace Methodist church with Jenna and her daddy. We watched a movie called Faith like Potatoes. No comment. The film is a bit bored, yet I have to admit that the mise-en-scene (settings) of the film are nice. It also somehow has a good cinematography techniques. Theres some parts that I like; such as the fire and the church scene, where the main character finally touched by the words of God.

Went supper and stayed overnight at Jen's place. Thank you; Jeffery, Kenneth, Jenna, Gerain, Priscilla, Ling Hui, Ching Yaw,Tien Tien, Annis and her friend, for acting for our team this morning. Thank you,Jenna, for bringing me to the church. I was stress and I have not been to the church for a while. And yea,somehow, I feel better after I went to the church; like I always do. And, yes, thank you for the supper, and your comfortable bed. Seems like your house has became the safest place for me to hide. Haha! Thank you =)

Looking forward

2008-05-14T23:40:00.001+08:00

Today, we have finally finalized our main cast for Drama Production. And we are going to shoot on this Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Our team is going to shoot in the same day with our friend in Perth. Good luck people! I am looking forward to this Friday! Good luck to us, good luck to all other groups that are going to shoot; and good luck to friends that are doing the same assignment in Perth too :)

Current mood: Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and next Thursday or Friday. But still not ready for other stuff yet. If you get what I mean.

5th; and approved.

2008-05-13T23:26:00.003+08:00

After the script being asked to change for the fifth time, we re-submitted it along with the production plan on Monday evening. Been spending almost four days to fill a 3 minutes film production plan. I could say that actually its not four days; along with the scripts that have been rejected, I have change the production plan according to how many times its being rejected. We have spent like three hours in just filling two risk assessment and some other forms on last Saturday. Can you imagine that?So, you say studying media is easy. Come and have a try.

And so, this afternoon, I am happily and proudly announce that; our production plan and script has finally being approved. Without any rejection, our plan has being approved for the first submission. After spending few days of filling the plan till midnight; its all worth. And yes, me is happy today.

Thought would have skipped class and see the lecturer yet I didn't; I changed my mind and we went to see the lecturer earlier and yes, we have a good news. This is all God's plan. If I were to skipped class and went to see the lecturer later, he would have went to class and we will not know about this news. Next, if we didn't know about this news, we wouldn't have booked the equipment and shoot on this Friday as some of the groups have booked the equipments in advance. Thank you, God. You are wonderful.

Shooting this Thursday night. Might not going back home. I don't mind. Tell you what, I might never say this to anyone but now I am telling you that; I love my course, I like what I am doing now. Tired, frustrate, exhausted, etc, still; I like.

Hopefully everything is gonna be fine, especially on Friday. Please don't rain. At least from the morning till afternoon 330pm, please don't rain.

Current mood: Yayyy, busy but happy, shooting, this Friday and weekend, next Thursday.

Still, other than production, not ready for other stuff yet; sorry to say.

Happy Mothers' Day

2008-05-11T14:01:00.017+08:00

Well, like I said in the previous post, recently I am facing something that is 'mentally exhausted'. I am running away from it now. I agree with what my friend said; that the more we run, the heavier the beban will be. Yes, this is so true.But the fact is that, I am not as strong as they thought. I am weak,too. If I were strong enough to face this, I wouldn't be running away and keep thinking the way to avoid. Basically, I am still not ready to talk about this yet. There's only three things in my mind - Mothers' Day, production plan, shooting. Other than that; sorry to say, I am not ready yet.

I have made a card on Thursday. Its for my mum and dad. Basically, its a Mothers' Day card but after that I decided to make a 'dual' version as I realized that I have only one envelope. And yup, I made a Mothers' Day card and a Fathers' Day card 'in a card'. Get?Meaning, it has two messages in a card.One is for mummy and one is for daddy. And of course, it has two front pages. Due to the reason that I was sleepy that time, the card I made was a bit ugly. So, I decided just to take a picture of the front page of the card. However, I have not write something on it yet when I took this picture. As I can imagine how ugly it would look like, so I decided to photograph the undone one.

Ugly?Yes,I know that. But the most important thing is; sincerity. Agree? I'm sure my mum wouldn't mind. Well, next time I'll try to learn handmade card from the website that given by my friend.Yes,Jenna, I know that you're so into handmade card. Show me yours next time ya =)

Well, honestly, I didn't spend much time in doing this.Like I said, I was sleepy at that time. So,yea,the rest, you should understand why I didn't spend much time on that. Then, I went out to the Villa bus stop to meet my cousin and friend.

As you can see here, its for Mr. and Mrs. Anthony Chong. So,yea, I think they will receive it on Monday as I only send it on Friday. Surprise! I didn't tell them that I am going to send them a card.So,yea, happy Mothers' Day to my mum, my aunts, and all the women around the world.

The following post is for my mum, Mrs. Helena Chong. If you are reading this mum; Happy Mothers' Day. That's the first thing I want to say. I miss home and I miss you and daddy. Really hope that I was there to celebrate today with you and dad. I thank you for everything that you have done for us. I will always remember what you have taught, your advices, and your sacrifice. Mummy, happy Mothers' Day and I love you everyday. Dear grandmum in heaven, happy Mothers' Day; I love you and I miss you, very much.

Oh God, please bless them and bless us for tomorrow's script approval as I don't think I can accept anything like that anymore; and thank you for given me some good friends and letting me know that I am not alone. Amen.

********

Current mood: run, avoid, escape, frustrate, homesick,tired, speechless.

Production Plan

2008-05-10T23:42:00.002+08:00

Today was a bit busy. After lunch, we filled the production plan. Only left some part which the lecturer has not approved yet. I just hope that everything will be fine on Monday. I can't imagine how worse the situation would be if our script been rejected again. Just the ending part, that we need his approval. And I have filled most of the form; which the plan is now 85% done.

Busying for the whole day made me have no time to bother what is going on now. I don't know what is wrong with me nowadays. It seems like I have no interest in anything except my production plan. Perhaps we have went through too much of frustration of script and production being rejected. All we hope is that, we can do our production plan perfectly and we can shoot as we have scheduled. Perhaps this has inspired me to do my work but not to think so much about something that wouldn't help for my prod. plan.

Tomorrow is Mothers Day and still; I miss home. Somehow, I feel glad and happy today. Of course, that is not thinking all the unnecessary stuff; I am happy today. Feel glad and 'warm'. And, thank you Sarah; for your advices. You know I wasn't in a good mood and I am stress. Thank you Jenna; for the advices and the offer. I really appreciate it. Thank you Manda; for your mail and the sms the other day. Those made me feel better. You might have sense something is wrong here even though I have not tell you yet because I thought that I can handle it by my own but the fact is, I can't;and I will tell you soon, before I burst. Hope I have credit *winks*.

Exhausted

2008-05-08T20:13:00.002+08:00

Nowadays, it is just so exhausted that we have so much work to do. Production plan, script, storyboard; and what I hate the most: risk assessment. It is exhausted but I enjoy doing all this. I bet next week will be much more tired and excited as we are going to do our shooting. The last shooting for me was a year ago, and this is why I am so excited about this semester; as we have drama production! Yes, I miss our foundation year; and I miss 2007. Talking about exhausting, it is not just exhaust because of all this paper works,seeking approval from lecturer,and the frustration of script being rejected. It is also concern with the situation I am facing now. Mentally.

Have you ever wonder that sometimes, the course that you are taking now might be easier than your friend’s? Or perhaps, because they are from the science stream, and you are in the art side, it is considered that the course they are studying is much more difficult from yours. If you have this kind of opinion; I tell you what, you are totally wrong! Studying media is not as easy as you can imagine. Sometimes, you can get high distinction for your chemistry, physics, mathematics and so forth, but we might can't get that because the course we study have no fix answers for its questions. Sometimes, you might also think that the media students have no work to do and they can rest.No,we have work and we always sleep late.Sometimes we could do our work till the next morning.The work is like never ending. Get? Meaning, we are not in the course that needs you to memorize formulas and counting. We need you to be alert with your surroundings,observe its changes; and we need you to apply critical thinking.

So, if you think media is the course for those who are not qualified to get in to science and engineering course, you are totally wrong. Every course has its own difficulties. None of the courses are easy to pass and have no home works. You have, and I have. Recently, I just experienced something that is so ‘mentally exhausted’. Like I am expected to understand ones situation and feelings but my situation and my feeling is not expected to be understood by them. Why should I be the one who is expected to understand and care about how you feel since you don’t understand my stance? How well do you think you know about me? Don’t say that you know me so well but actually you don’t. Sometimes, I just feel so tired in fulfilling what they want from me; but I didn’t get the same thing. I believe that,to manage a good relationship; no matter is with your parents, friends and other people, we need to understand each other well. This is not going to work if only one person is working on it.And yes, it is hard and tiring if you are working alone.

Mothers Day is coming soon; and yes, I miss my mum. By now, you should know what I’m going to say next; Me missss home!!

Freaked Out

2008-05-06T13:31:00.000+08:00

Internet connection was so not good these few days. Anyway, just a simple post about the other day. I got freaked out that day.I'm like what the...! I was so scared that time!

Unknown

2008-04-30T22:23:00.005+08:00

Sometimes its just weird to think about someone that you 'used' to close with has changed and it seems like you never know who they are anymore. Been trying so hard to understand and to learn what is happening and what has happened. Yet, I still don't know them.Isn't that weird; we used to be so close and now, we didn't know each other's life. They will only contact you when you are needed; and when you hear their voice, you will start thinking about all the moments that you used to share with them. Yet, you will also realized that the way they talk to you is ain't the same anymore. Things changed, they changed; and of course we changed. And sooner or later, it would change until you will never know who they are anymore.

Sometimes, it just some unknown feeling that is bothering me. We thought that we were best friends and will keep in contact. Yes, we did. But, we can't help if ones is changing and the other one was not 'informed' with the changes. Its just weird when you know about that. Its sad I should say. Pathetic.

I am glad that I am still keeping in contact with some of my best friends that are not in Malaysia. Like what we always said, even though we will not see each other that often; or we might not meet that soon; that's more than enough if we still remember them, care about them and always pray for them. That's what my cousin always said. "The one in Salford will always know how well have you been in Malaysia" (Leong, A,. 2007). Yes, that's right. If you know them well, you don't have to ask much how have they been but you will know by talking to them; and even by a simple short sms with only one word describing their feeling;you will understand. And that's enough.

Oh God, bless them and only you know how much I miss them and care about them. I might be busy and didn't contact with them, but only you know that how much care about them.

p/s- The one in East missed the one in Salford and those in the West!

(To someone back in KK)- Hey, is not that I forgot about you.Its just that we are all busy with our works and yes,I still remember you!You are not alone as God is always with you; and you'll always be in my prayer.So, don't think so much and don't waste you time in thinking that you are alone.Go face what you need to face now!You've screwed it up and you have to fix it now.Have faith.

Was that my fault?

2008-04-23T21:42:00.003+08:00

Am I wrong for being a perfectionist?I might be playful at times but please remember that I distinguish between work and my 'playing moment'. So, was that my fault for asking you to do your part perfectly so that we can produce a better work?I know that I am fussy in certain circumstances, and in certain work. But I just want everything to be perfect. Perhaps you always see me as the naughty and the one who is not that serious in her works; yet I can tell you that, I will always make sure that everything is perfect and is done on time. I play and I played, but I do my work, my part in the same time. I made sure everything is to be done in time; and like we have planned earlier. Like I always said,I am very particular with time management; and I want everything to be done as planned. That's it. That's the simplest thing I am asking for.

So, after all and all, was that my fault for asking you to do your part perfectly;or perhaps not 100% perfect but just 85% so that I can continue my work after yours?So,after all and all, was that my fault for wanting everything to be done perfectly and exactly like what we have planned? If not, tell me then,what is the use of having meeting and having a work plan?

So,I was wrong?I was wrong for showing you the face that I am dissatisfied with your work; and in the same time you see yourself as in you did nothing wrong?That I shouldn't have showed you that kind of face?Yea,perhaps.But can't you think about it yourself why am I showing you the pissed face rather than just reminding yourself that you did nothing wrong, and I shouldn't treat you that way.

Please people!Time management.You know what you should do and what is your role. What is the work that you should have done before the due time like you are doing your assignment. What is the work you should do according to your role.

Oh God! Dios mio!

"I want bak kut tehhhhhhhhhhhh!!". (Nanta, A .S., 2008).

2008-04-21T19:35:00.008+08:00

"I want bak kut tehhhhhhhhhhhh!!". (Nanta, M.S., 2008). Because of this sentence, we went to have bak kut teh for our dinner just now.Ooh,seriously,I miss the one who said this sentence so so so much!Oh yea, this is my first bak kut teh in Miri for 2008. Its been a while that we actually didn't come out for dinner. We were lazy and now is only two of us (wen lin & I); so we just order food from that uncle la.This afternoon I mailed this lady and told her that our old friend Mr.Daniel is back to Miri and came to visit us. So,I told her that I missed having chocolate toast and bak kut teh with her; and seriously I do.Then after class, I went back home, and this is what we had for our dinner- bak kut teh. so random ba.I just told wen lin that "I want to eat bak kut teh." Then we had it. And when I' backed to the room,I saw her mail. *winks*

This is a message to Amanda :
I said I will post something for you,Sura!And to ease your 'missed bak kut teh & Sarawak food' thoughts, this is specially taken for you-

Next time I'll take a photo with Laksa, Kueh Chap, etc for you. And when you're back, I will not take those photo for you because; we will go and taste it okay. Hey, you take care there my dear. Good luck for your presentation, your works, and yea, your ngajat performance,Dada. Uiits,pakai banyak sikit.Berlapis lapis macam kuih lapis!Jangan kesejukan.So lame. Miss you,GORGEOUS lady! Haha. Hugs hugs! =)

p/s- And yea hey, forgot to tell you in the mail. We finished editing for soundscape in one day.Yayyy!!

Love,
Juju.

Late comers + Slipper-ers = Get out of the class.

2008-04-17T22:03:00.005+08:00

As you can see from the title above, this is a new formula I created for our new 'lecturer'. Let me ask a question. If you are a university lecturer, will I be distracting you if I wear slipper to your class?We were required not to wear slipper and mini-skirt to his class. We should wear proper attire to class;yes,I agree with that. Absolutely. Yet, I suppose we have our own rights to wear what we want as long as it is still considered as proper attire, agree?Lets talk about other stuff. Now, as a lecturer, do you have the right to kick your student out of your class?Yes, you have; but with acceptable reasons. If you said that you will give 10 minutes allowances for being late in your class, you better keep your words. But don't you ever say something like; you wish you could be like some lecturer,kick all the late comers out of your class when your student has only late for less than 10 minutes. Know what, that 'which lecturer' also gave us 5 minuts allownace for being late and he did it. You said you wish you could be like him as in what?That knowledgeable?Yes, as a student we should respect you.No matter what, you are still the lecturer and the one who teaches us. But,is that worth?

We are required to wear shoe when we need to carry equipments around to avoid some unnecessary injury. But, will we get injured if we just need to carry books and files?Is that necessary for you to ask us wear shoe just for a two hours lecture and ask your students go back and change it if they do not wear what you want them to wear?Is that a good idea?Will they distract your class when they come back to the class?As a smart lecturer, I would not ask my students to do so as I do not want them to 'distract' my class. And everyone has their own right with what they want to wear to class. If wearing a slipper for you is not considered as a proper attire, then why not you wear a wedding tuxedo or batik to your classes?Proper attire la that!

This morning, we went in to the class like 9.05am.We were 'late' for 5 minutes. And this is what we saw- There's a man,who thinks that he is so smart and handsome and apparently he is not; is putting a note outside the classroom. After he pasted it, he was so worried that the students can't read it and keep asking us whether or not they can read it. Hello! How are we suppose to know?We were already in the class. You want us to go out and do the experiment for you?

Another simple question, if you have mentioned earlier that you do not want your student to wear slipper to the class, and they still wear it. It is necessary for you to ask them go back home and change it?Then when they come back to the class is already late for more than 10 minutes and you will still kick them out of the class?Don't you know there's something that is called 'first warning'?

If you said you do not want to 'spoon feed' your student, asking them to wear what you want,is that call spoon feed?Because you are asking them to do all things exactly like you want.I suppose it is the same thing. Mind that too,we as a student have the rights to express and to complain. You do not need to infer that you are not happy with us in the class.Just speak it out!What is the use for you to make some slides about 'students rights and reponsibilities'?And then continue with your lecturer after that slides. Know what,for me, it is a waste of time for us to listen all that bull sh*t and it is also a waste of time for you to do all that irrelevant slides.Just say it out - I am pissed and unhappy with what you guys have complained to the Head of Department!Isn't that a very simple sentence?

Recently, we are doing an assignment call Information Bank. At first he was so kind that he asked us to consult him if we have problems. Then the next thing we know is this sentence came out from his mouth :"You should check your APA referencing.Everything is already there,I don't want to spoon feed you." Puuiiii!!!Who wants you to spoon feed us?We did not pay rm8000+ to listen all these from you and we do not need your 'feed' okay!And right after that, your response was totally different when the 'real' lecturer came in "Ooh,come and see me if you are still confuse with your resources".Is this the way how you treat your students?Even as an associate lecturer?No,this is not the way how you do things.And you do not ask your students to submit the assignments which it is only due three weeks after that. And after we have submitted it, you do not ever; tell them that you did not receive it. There's is no point for you to be so high tech if you can't receive even a single email from some of your students. Let's just print it out and hand in to you. Mind you that, not everyone of us can access to Internet and send you the assignment through mail.

And execuse me, not all of us is a dude.Please don't be sexist or gender bias like some other unmentionable lecturer.If you want to put a note next time, print it in a bigger font or I can suggest you to ask some advertising company to draw or print it for you. So that everyone is informed with your note; and with that note, you can always remind people not to be late in your class;and you can reinforce your 'rules';You see, this is what I learnt form other lecturers in other units, the use of advertising; is to inform, remind, and to reinforce. This is how we gain knowledge but not in the way you are using now.

Wasn't

2008-04-15T10:38:00.001+08:00

This morning wasn't a good 'starting' for me; or for us I should say. We started our class in a bad mood. The lecturer wasn't in a 'good mood' and this caused us not in a 'good mood' too. Causation and correlation. See!This is what I learnt from CRTS in 2006 and what we laernt in today's lecture. As usual,boring. None of us was happy with what happened this morning I suppose. 'He' is really weird. Unreasonable and terrible. Whatever la. Legal lecturer at 11am was a bit bored and long too. We filled our two hours time with colouring the lecture slides and jotting down notes.

After class, I went to library and apparently it wasn't a good idea and wasn't a good choice. I made a wrong decision which lead me to a 'more' bad mood 'situation'. Something happend. I wonder how people can simply say a word or even a sentence without thinking about how others feel.Yes, sometimes we might do the same mistakes;yet that doesn't mean that you can do this always or even when you are not in a good condition.And after you have hurt your friends with your words, you can just pretend as if nothing had happened.Or perhaps I should say you don't even know you hurt them. Forget about it. Forgive and forget;no?yes?Then we went to cafe to have lunch, then hang around with friends, complain what had happened this morning,talk, laugh,gossip,drink,then I went off for our drama production meeting.

This is a candid photo of Fahren taken by me during Legal lecture;and it was edited by me using what?Microsoft office Picture Manager and Paint.No photoshop needed.

FTV drama production meeting was good. We finalized our story and I will start filling all the production plan once Mr.Rama approved the story. Del is our director, Aki as our editor and sound person, Mei Mei as our continuity and props officer,and I am the producer. A line-up for our production plan was made. Ooh yea, I hope I can be a good producer. I have no experience in working as a producer.

We'll start soundscape assignment on Thursday.And we have story pitching tomorrow during workshop.Good luck!

Today, me missed home;more.
And I missed 2007!

First . Church

2008-04-13T16:19:00.010+08:00

This morning I went to church with Hui Shan, Jenna, and her boy friend,Robin. It was so early that I still feel sleepy even though I have took a shower. And,it was my first time to go to the Miri Methodist church in this semester too. The last time I went to church was Easter; back in KK. Everything seems to be not that good for me recently; stress with assignments, productions. That is why I agreed to go with them when Jenna first asked me to go to church. I believe that no matter which church I am going to,Catholic church, Methodist church or Anglican church; its still the same as I believe in Him whole heartedly. I just need a couple of hours to rest my mind and talk to Him to get some 'peaceful' moment.

Yea, theres some funny moments in the church. The short drama thing, the choir; 'snoopy', and of course, the 'introduction' of four of us. It was funny that we were actually looking to the other direction when they called us. Seems like there are some othe 'new comers' that named Julia, Hui Shan, Jenna, and Robin. I still remembered when I was thinking whether I should stand up or not, I heard this : "Why don't you stand? (in chinese)". It was Jenna.She was the first one who stands when they called our name. That was funny. We were actually quite 'reluctant' to stand when the pastor called us. We got some booklet after the mass. Something that I think I will need to check the Chinese dictionary regularly if I wish to understand the whole thing. Honestly, it was quite hard to understand what the pastor was talking about in the mass. We all agreed that. For me, the slides that shown were too fast and the words;I can't remember most of them. What should I say?Yea,my Chinese is so poor now.

We actually planned to go Leeanne's church next week and go to Jenna's church in the following week. Yet,Leeanne's church is too early for us. She suggested us to go the night one but I don't think we can make it. So,yup; I wish to go to the Catholic church next week. We'll see how then.No matter which church we are going,we agreed to go to the English mass. Really, this would be much more easier for us. I was so sleepy and tired after we went back from the church. The reason?Its easy, I woke up early this morning but I slept at 3am something this morning. Excessive workload!!This is not the first time in this week though. We (shelly and I) almost have no enough sleep in this week.

This photo of ugly me was taken by Leeanne when I just got back home.

I slept for almost three hours after we went back home. Then, I wrote/drew something for our final drama production. We have no idea what kind of story that we are going to shoot. So,we agreed to think about something and discuss it on Monday. we have story pitching on Wednesday. Till now, I have two brief idea/storyline with me. For this drama production, I will be the producer. This is my first time to be a producer.Honestly, I am not sure that whether I can handle all this stuff or not as I have no experience in working as a producer. I was the director for the two previous assignments. I told Manda that I will need to consult her. Seriously,I have no idea in filling all that production forms and all that. Ooh,I really hope..I hope...to.......Anyway,let's just hope that we can come out with a conclusion with what story that we are going to do for this final assignment worth 30% and everything will be fine for the story pitching thing.

The two brief storyline that I have drew in 15 minutes for our final drama production.

Awake II

2008-04-10T19:40:00.002+08:00

We made it!What's so proud about that?We were awake for 17 hours! 17 hours?Yes,correct!New record for that.Proud?No?Yes?Meaning we do last minute work?Yea,somehow;something like this.

To Stephanie

2008-04-08T11:09:00.004+08:00

Dear Stephanie,
There's something that girl girl would like to tell you before she begins to tell you the 'stories' that she has not tell you yet. "Happy Birthday to you,Happy Birthday to you,Happy Birthday to Stephanie,Happy Birthday to...you~~". Sorry I couldn't call you as I have no enough credit to make a call.These few days I am so busy and frustrated with my assignments and I kept reminding myself that 08 April is stephanie's birthday but,I am really sorry that,still I forgot to message you. But,at least,I blog about you eh.For the first time I post a passage about my friend.

These few days,I am so not good as eveything is so not organized and I nearly fainted this morning as I have early class and for two days, we need to carry equipments that at least is 6kg each to lakeside apartment and shoot at the 3rd floor and half way,I have to rush back to cafe to buy food as our props for the scene and run back to hostel in a sunny day.My arm started to pain and not only our arms and shoulders that are pain but we feel like have no strength to do our assignments after we got back home.And guess what,I have four assignments due this week.Each day one.I've passed up my script and as you know,is based on my experience of my grandmom.Today I have test and so far so good,I hope.Tomorrow due the shooting thing and we have not edit the footages yet;which I am really stress about this.Thursday we have presentation;no marks but its for our research topic,and we need to present 10 references out of 20.But till now I only managed to find like 6 references. I did not sleep early even for once in this week. Its always 2am or 3am.The earliest is 130am.

And yea,did I tell you about the equipments?Know what,we have 7 groups that need equipments and there are only two equipments that are provided.Now you see how lousy is the situation?That is why I feel like dying yesterday. And I burst yesterday on the phone. I was crying while talking to Manda.When I heard her voice I just started to cry and she's like what happened,what happened.I bet I will cry too if I talk to you yesterday. Everything is so not good and is not like what we have planned.I suppose you know the story right?About how particular am I with the time management.If you know what am I talking about,I am sure you can guess the whole story of this already.Like you said,you are so clever ba.Always help me add words in my journals.

Hey girl,I've been missing you a lot! Really sorry that I did not message you today. I was so busy the whole day. Had class in the early morning, then test, then shooting then after I went back home,I just took shower and sleep until 9pm then I had my dinner. After that I draw for the production plan that we need to submit tomorrow.And till now then I have time to relax and blog about this. I am sorry.Happy Birthday. Thats the most important thing I want to tell.This looks like a message that I want to send you through mail.Haha.

Anyways,hope you all the best k.I know you have exam too.Good luck! I know you can do it. I am looking forward to the day when you are coming to Miri.I want to eat chocolate toast with you! And purple dream,full moon toast toast,or full moon moon toast,choc choc toast!You know,that day I suddenly remembered the things that we used to do in the room.The way we imitate our friends. "Gi chi Gi chi ya ya tha tha!I wonder if you know,ah sa fu yo,ah sa fu yo,uh uh uh!!" Haha.

Really,come faster!Ask the time go faster so that May will reach soon and ask the time walk slower when you are here!Haha.Are you coming for the graduation day?Did they sent you the mail? "By the way...."

What I want to say,I want to play the shadow game with you and I want to shout with you in the room so that our friend cannot study and cry alone in the room.I want to play modelling game with you,and I want to sit at the bench outside our house and chat with you. Me also want to go eat Kueh Chap at Harmony with you and try your food when you try mine.Then after that,I want you to go DPS shopping with me and buy me candy. And I also want to take photo with you and your photo with the banana.And I want to see your 'better together',and 'qian tu hou qiao'.I will create new film for you,as I am the director now.I also want to see you buy Fabiano shoe.And I also want to go campus with you when you're here and see where the uncle bus will stop the car.I also want to go town with you and you better come here early if not Bintang is going to close soon,okay?

Happy Birthday! I will call you soon and update with you with what's happening. Take care.Hugss! Me miss you!

Love,
Girl girl.

Sorry,I don't feel like...

2008-04-07T23:50:00.000+08:00

Sorry,I don't feel like talking to you these few days. Because,I just don't feel like having conversation with you. Like I said,you don't take everything for granted.Sometimes, somehow I really feel like the principle/beliefs that I've uphold for all this while is all wrong. Sorry as I am stress and because of this I don't feel like talking to you or even bother how have you been. I am trying to fix everything back to normal but I failed. Because I am afraid that when everything is back to normal, you will do the same thing to me again. Again and again.I'll always remember how and the way you treat others and me. I am sorry that the way I talk,treat you is a bit different these few days. I am sorry that I can't easily forget and forgive this time. I don't know why and I am sorry that I don't feel guilty for treating you this way which I think I am suppose to.

These few day,I just see how people do works and how they handle their relationships with others;the way they talk, the way they treat people, the way they taking care of others and they way they feel.

There are people that always make sure everything is organized. There are also people that is so kind and never ask for reciprocate. There are also people that take everything for granted. There are also people that care about you so much and you don't know about that. There are people that are always worried about how have you been but you have never stop letting them worried about you. There are also people that is always missing and care about you and they did not tell you about this yet however you know about this. I would prefer to be with anyone of them but not the one who always take everything for granted.

Sorry if I have made you worried about me, friends. I suppose this is the time we should hold each other tight. Leave it to God.

Still,I miss home.Very much.And yea,me miss you!

Be kind to one another,tenderhearted,forgiving one another,as God In Christ has forgiven you. (Ephesians 4:32 NRSV)

Awake

2008-04-05T16:42:00.008+08:00

Seriously, this semester is so; full of assignments and projects. Especially April. Guess what, We have six assignments due in this month and next week I have four assignments due. Monday, for script; Tuesday for Legal test; Wednesday for lighting exercise; Thursday for MCI presentation with 1o different sources of reference. I'm like "What??" From where am I suppose to find 10 different references?Reminds me of something that I've learnt from my friend last year- "Saya nadai mood mauk makai sudah." Thinking off all those stuff that you have not done yet; do you think you still have mood to eat?No. Hey,look! I have not forgotten about all those "nadai, nak nemu, nda nemu aku jagok kenyak, pagilak",etc, yet okay. But my Iban Laguage 'teacher' went to Perth already.

I heard that lighting exercise is tough as you need time to adjust the lights positioning and all that. I hope I have enough time to shoot in two hours. Other wise, I'll have to find extra casts. I am glad that I've found my casts in two days time. Really, it was a frustration for us to look for someone that is willing to help/to act for us. Thank you, main character(s)! (for one thousand, million times) *laughs*.

Today, I planned to study Legal yet again, 'nadai mood mauk study.' I stayed awake until 4am this morning and I've finished my script. One of my housemates even stayed awake for 14 hours?From 1am in the morning till 3pm in the afternoon. After she has done her script, it was 7am and she went to campus at 9am then came home at 3pm. And this reminds me of last semester, we stayed awake for like 25 hours for two days (48 hours) to finish our assignments. We were 'proud' to say that we actually stayed awake for a day! I am like- "Salute!!" After she has done her script,she just went to campus and did not sleep until she came home at 330pm

Tonight, we planned to work until next morning again. I've been awake for what; 11 hours. Well, I think we'll 'pecah the record' this time. Tuition free week is coming soon. 'Aku nak pulai KK. Tapi ada banyak assignments!'

Crazy...

Left Behind.Emo.Confused.

2008-04-03T12:57:00.007+08:00

Today,I feel so not good since the morning. Maybe I am just being emo or what. Had test yet feel nothing at all. It is better to let the picture to tell you how I feel-

So,you know how I feel now?Left behind as in; studies,and I don't know. Just have that kind of feeling.Its hard to tell how exactly I feel now. You know when you do not have someone to support you; to understand the situation that you are facing;and to care about how you feel now?Yea,its that kind of feeling.Being abandoned.

What can I say about this anymore. I'd been trying to be strong and independent has I have promised. When I feel this once again,I know I have to work hard on this.

I am?I am confused what can or what should I do. Is it good if we ask help from somone and never think about how they feel when we abandon them?Or is it okay if we only think about our friends when we need help and forget about their 'existence' when we do not need them?Granted that they are our friends, it should be okay for us do this and that to them?No?Yes?You tell me.From what I have learnt, no matter what our friends are facing, we should always get ready to help and to be with them if they need us.That's what friends are for.Agree?Yet,from what I had experienced and feel today;I am confused. Is the belief that I'd uphold all this time is wrong?

Respect;or just don't ask me for anything.Just don't think that you can take everything for granted.Even though I learn to forgive and forget;please don't. Please don't destroy the belief that I'd espoused for all this time.Thank you.I appreciate that,really.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
References:

Durgin, Left Behind [Image] (2006).
Retrieved April 03, 2008, from
http://thefineartprintgallery.com/images/left-behind-web.jpg

The Panic Doctor, Being Abandoned [Image] (n.d.).
Retrieved April 03, 2008, from
http://www.panicdoctor.com/feeling%20abandoned.jpg

Buzz Canuck, Confused [Image] (n.d.).
Retrieved April 03, 2008, from
http://buzzcanuck.typepad.com/agentwildfire/images/
2007/10/18/confused___by_mushy_pea.jpg

Body by Jake, questionmark [Image] (n.d.).
Retrieved April 03, 2008, from
http://www.bodybyjake.com/upload/questionmark.JPG

The Homeland Depression Advisory System [Image] (n.d.).
Retrieved April 03, 2008, from
http://www.retrojunk.com/forums/index.php?view=posts&fid=18&tid=25051

(Avoid plagiarism!)

Almost

2008-03-31T23:29:00.007+08:00

Today,I am glad to announce that our first assignment;mini-doc is almost done. We have done almost 96% of the work. We faced some problem while editing for the voice over part. Yet we managed to solve the problem.Even though its not that perfect, we solve the problem and some of the groups said that our sound track is nice. Thank you,friends.Hope Mr.Rama would like it. Now, we only left some editing for the volumn of the music and also we need to add in some more music for the credits of the video clip. Other than that, we just need to trim here and there before re-recording it to a new tape for submission. This is part of our credits after editing:

Coming up next is lighting exercise worth 10%; and we have MCI 101 test on Thursday. Next week, I have three assignments due; Legal test and FTV script on Monday,lighting exercise on Wednesday. I have started to read for the tests,and alsmost done,No! actually I have just started. Just started as in just began to touch the book. Today,someone has her first presentation in degree too. This is one of my new house mates. Introducing you, Shelly from China;the closest one to me compared to other house mates. I loveeee to call her Chinese name as this would make her annoyed at times because she doesn't like people calling her Chinese name. I just love to tease and see her annoyed face. *laughs* Never let people take her photo properly and I took this when she was talking to other friend :p

Ooh well, everything seems to be alright today.Thank God. Nowadays I feel more peaceful when I talk to Him. I feel comfortable whenever I know that no matter what happens and what is going to happen, you actually don't have to think much and worried so much as He has his own way. He gives you this, and he will guide you the way to went through it. The purpose for this is to learn, I suppose. And I learn to be more calm whenever theres a problem occurs. I also learn to forgive and forget;which actually you will feel better rather than just remembering what others have done to you.

Dear God,thank you,for everything that you have done. For be with me when I need you and stay with me when I feel helpless.And thank you for giving me the strength to face all my problems. I pray that you will always be with me and with those who I love. Please always remind me that I do not have to afraid as you are always aside me. Amen.